


Memories

by darkesky



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Amnesia, M/M, Memory Loss, Multi, Other, Post-Awakening, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-12-31 21:50:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18322637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkesky/pseuds/darkesky
Summary: Odin?He rolled the name around in his head, again and again, until it barely even felt like a word anymore. Continuously, he threw the name against the walls of his mind to try and click it into place. His name had to mean something. If it was his name, at least.The hand entwined in his gripped his harder. “What are you thinking about?”“I don’t…” The words came out tentative, cautious. “I don’t remember.”“You don’t remember what you were thinking about?” the man asked, something strange coloring his tone.His eyes slid to the man’s. “I don’t remember anything.”---After a spell gone wrong, Odin loses his memory.





	1. Blank Slate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing in this universe! Thank you to everyone who's commented on my other Fates/Awakening fics! All of them have revolved around the Awakening trio recently, but I think I might be expanding that a little soon. Comment any suggestions below or just comment in general, I love reading them!
> 
> Also, basic info that doesn't really come up in the fic right now, but may be necessary later:
> 
> Gaius x Lissa = Owain  
> Frederick x Cordelia = Severa  
> Robin x Olivia = Inigo

“No villain can reach you with the aid of Odin Dark and the master thief, Niles! We shall block the way of the heinous villains, slaying our friends as easily as a lumberjack does wood! As easily as a-” Odin proclaimed, quickly cutting himself off to fire off a quick spell.

Niles grumbled as he notched an arrow. “I admire your energy, but how about we chill on the talk about our friends dying?”

“Of course, my friend! I fear I described a future in too much darkness and direness rather than the possible hope looming on the horizon!” He offered his brightest smile to Niles, who rolled his eyes and went back to the task at hand. 

Odin could never fight in silence, opposed to Niles, who shrouded his world in that. He needed to be speaking at all times if only to keep his fighting sharp and precise. To be silent was to give up. With a battle looming around every corner, he had to find a way to say his goodbyes… Even if they didn’t assume the form of that particular word. 

Few in the army kept chattering during battle as well. Laslow and Selena picked up the same habit, and Peri certainly threw out colorful explanations for how she’d kill the opponent. The rest? They fought with the soundtrack of blade against blade, axe against skin. 

He cleared his throat. “Lord Leo, with my spells at your side, no one will be able to break the line. This fight will be for naught as not even a scar will pucker your skin. The bloodshed today shall belong solely to our enemies, sought from the veins like water from a fountain!”

“Do you ever shut up?” Leo asked, no real venom behind his words. 

Odin let out a laugh at the same time Niles snorted. “Silence is the way of quitters, milord!”

“Seems like a strong opinion coming from the weak link of the three of us,” Niles said. When Odin’s eyes snapped to him, momentarily stunned, a huge smirk flew across his face. “What? Some of us focus better in silence.”

“What a dark present you must live in, indeed,” he said, hanging his head slightly. They fell back into the easy flow of battle, Odin carrying every end of the conversation. Leo barked out orders, and they followed, and every once and awhile, Niles poked fun at him. Other than that, it was just Odin inventing the legend of the trio on the spot. After all, one day they’d go down in a heroic song or some form of poetry.

Maybe he should ask Azama. He heard the man had a real knack for it.

Clearing his throat, Odin casually voiced his opinion. “In the army, which wordsmith has the best…”

Out of the corner of his eye, mid-sentence, Odin realized his mistake. Niles and Odin kept pushing forward and allowed Leo to fling spells over their shoulders. They never anticipated getting flanked by the side. After all, if he looked either direction, he’d find another royal and their retainers. Takumi took the left, and Hinoka took the right. For someone else to be closing in… Well, he’d never imagine they got past the vigilant Hoshidan royalty.

Odin’s feet moved faster than he could, leaving the question dangling in the air. Right as the bolt of lightning streaked through the air, straight for the flank of Leo’s horse, Odin leapt and let the electricity slam into him. He fell against the horse and crumpled to the ground, eyesight pulsing with blue and black. His fingertips twitched with each pulse, and he could feel the spasms rocking the rest of his body. 

He moved his mouth soundlessly, trying to call for Niles or Leo… Trying to reassure them everything would be alright. Odin Dark went through worse scraps than this and came out for the better! In fact, out of the three of them, he bore the least scarring! He was resilient and… And Anankos erased many of his scars when he travelled to Nohr, but that was beside the point! He didn’t balk at a challenge, even one as menial as fighting back to life after being hit by a spell.

The only words that escaped was a low, guttural moan before he fell back into the darkness.

-

Warmth poked at his aching muscles, wrapping around him. First, he perceived it as a gentle hug to try and assuage the pain. Then, he realized the hot coiled around his limbs like a snake, biting at the flesh as it  _ squeezed.  _ The only sensation granted to him was pain, and when the heat faded, the cold scratched just as deeply at his skin. No escape could be made. At least, not now.

_ “What do you mean there’s nothing you can do? Do  _ something!”

The voice pulled him out of the haze he allowed himself to float in. The weights on his eyelids started to shift as he attempted to bring himself back into the world. Slivers of his vision were colored crimson, and the red crept deeper and deeper into his vision. He let his eyes shut once more.

_ “What do you want me to do?” _

Every limb weighed heavier than pure steel. Something twined with his bones from beneath his skin, forcing him to stay still and broken. With every twitch, he felt a distant pain biting at his muscles and making him regret every movement. He wanted to go back to drifting in the dreamless, mindless,  _ painless  _ haze.

_ “I… I’m not the healer here, Elise!” _

The voices around him possessed a strange, echoey quality about them. They drifted in and out his ears, weirdly hiccuping. It still stirred something in his stomach. Nothing came with the voices, no names and no faces, but something innate protested the way he couldn't connect the dots.

When someone placed two cold fingers against his cheek, he leant into the touch to chase the chill. His whole body held an oppressive heat he had no desire of. The person drew back instantly before his fingers travelled beneath his chin.

Once again, he attempted to push his eyelids open. This time, the slivers held the sight of two beautiful, brown eyes. They gazed sharply into him, and a jolt of awareness shook through his body. 

“You’re awake now.” The owner of the brown eyes’ relief felt palpable, his concern escaping on his sigh.

His mouth felt dry. When he tried to speak, his voice was lost in a groan. His eyes threatened to roll back in his head, and the other man’s hand flew to his, tightly gripping it. 

When his vision focused again, a new pair of brown eyes awaited him. They held none of the same love the other ones did, but they pulsed with the same kindness. Two blonde pigtails swung by her face, some other color twirling up them. “Hey! You know, you really gave us a fright, Odin!”

_ Odin? _

He rolled the name around in his head, again and again, until it barely even felt like a word anymore. He tried to figure out where it belonged. It didn’t feel like his own name, but… Why else would the girl have called him it? What other name could he have? Continuously, he threw the name against the walls of his mind to try and click it into place. His name had to mean  _ something.  _ If it was his name, at least.

The hand entwined in his gripped his harder. “What are you thinking about?”

“I don’t…” The words came out tentative, cautious. “I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember what you were thinking about?” the man asked, something strange coloring his tone. 

His eyes slid to the man’s. “I don’t remember  _ anything.” _

-

‘Odin’ sat on the edge of the bed, experimentally curling his toes. The strange buzz started to fade, and he managed to fight through the initial pain and dizziness. Every once and awhile, a strange temptation to go to sleep and never wake up again washed over him. He’d lay back down, but already, the crowd assembled treated him like he could fall apart at any given notice.

After Pigtails checked him out, throwing around words like ‘concussion’ and ‘head injury’, she called over more people to stare at him. A pink-haired maid followed by someone with her same face but with blue hair pulled at his eyelids to inspect his pupils. An older butler knocked on his scalp, and when ‘Odin’ flinched away, he announced he assumed he had a concussion. 

When the original man entered, ‘Odin’ offered a shaky smile. “So, am I dying?”

“It’s… Weird hearing you talk like that,” the man said in lieu of a response. He sat down on the stool beside the bed and sighed. 

He paused, kicking his legs. “How do I usually talk?”

“A lot more grandiose.” A wry smile hinted at his face. “It’s almost a welcome relief. Under different circumstances, I’m certain half the camp would be celebrating this development. Then again, you always had this uncanny way of making friends.”

“Friends…” The word trickled off his tongue, and he started looking around the med tent. “Are you one of mine?”

He stiffened, and the man’s brown eyes took in every feature of his face. ‘Odin’ couldn’t help but feel naked beneath his gaze. “I… I imagine I am. I would certainly hope you consider me as one.”

“You feel like a friend.” Words sprung to his brain, and he smiled widely. “I can feel it in my blood.”

“That’s more like it. What all do you remember?” The small smile starting on the man’s face quickly disappeared. 

He shrugged. “Nothing about me. I don’t feel like an Odin, and you don’t feel like a…”

“Leo.” The man paused. “Lord Leo.”

“Lord Leo it is!” ‘Odin’ chirped. 

Lord Leo made a face, almost subtle enough he could mistake it as a breath. “They think the memory loss is some kind of head trauma, but I’ve never read about  _ complete  _ amnesia as a result of trauma. I don’t know what else could have caused it though.”

“Do you have a theory?” he asked after a few seconds. It felt like the appropriate thing to do. 

He shook his head. “I never took up healing arts. That was my sister’s wheelhouse, and I had no intent on infringing upon it. Odin… Are you certain you don’t remember anything? You said I felt like a friend. Does anyone else…?”

“I feel safe,” ‘Odin’ said after a few seconds. “I don’t feel like some invisible enemy hangs a sword above my head. Should an enemy come, I have no qualms that you will be able to protect me.”

“Don’t you think you can protect yourself?” 

His head snapped to the side, and ‘Odin’ searched the room for the newcomer. He stood in the doorway, light casting a dark shadow before him. Blood smeared on his cheeks, right beneath the eyepatch, and his hair sat in a tangled mess at the nape of his neck. A darkness shone from his good eye. This was the kind of man who murdered people without even batting an eye…

And ‘Odin’ trusted him already.

‘Odin’ cleared his throat. “I… Dunno.”

“He looks weird. Lifeless,” the man commented and turned to look at the prince. 

Lord Leo nodded his head towards the man, making sure his eyes followed him. “That’s Niles. He’s your fellow retainer.”

“Retainer?” 

“To Lord Leo,” Niles briefly said before coming over and sitting right beside ‘Odin’. Before he could protest, Niles raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “You look exhausted. Lay back down, and go to sleep.”

“I’m not tired,” ‘Odin’ protested immediately.

Lord Leo let out a curt laugh, and both of their heads turned to his. He folded his arms. “Odin, Elise predicted you’d sleep for, at least, another three hours. The fact that you’re awake right now is astonishing. Niles gave you an order.”

“And not the fun kind,” murmured Niles, a playful light immediately dancing into his eyes. He leaned in, making sure Lord Leo wouldn’t be able to hear him. “But I’d gladly fuck you hard enough you don’t remember your own name. Next time, let’s do that rather than jumping in front of a spell.”

“Whoa…” Heat exploded into ‘Odin’s’ cheeks, and he very quickly laid down and smashed his face against the pillow. Whatever he expected from his relationship from them, he didn’t anticipate this.

Someone ran their fingers through his short hair instantly, fingers gently caressing his scalp. “And next time, if you scare us, I will run you through with my arrows.”

“I thought you said I could protect myself,” ‘Odin’ said into the pillow, letting the words completely muffle his words. Niles patted his head affectionately. After a few seconds, a cool hand slid into his.

They sat like that for awhile, effortlessly entwined, and ‘Odin’ almost let himself fall back into sleep when he heard the rumble of Niles’ voice. “I pity the person who tells Laslow and Selena about this.”

“Their names… I think they were fake to begin with. Maybe spending time with them is exactly what he needs.”

There was a long pause.

“I have to be the person who tells Laslow and Selena. That’s what you’re getting at, right?”

-

The next time he woke up, he recognized nothing more. His mind remained an empty trap, rattling with forgotten memories. He got ushered out of the med tent though. Apologetically, the first healer he met, who he later learned was Elise, told him they needed the space for the beds. If he felt any worse, he could always return. 

‘Odin’ wasn’t quite sure if he could consider anything getting  _ worse.  _ The fever never truly went away, and while none of the healers said it outright, they all heavily implied he needed to take it easy. He stumbled out to the strange… Treehouse? His fellow retainer and his liege hovered embarrassingly close, but the second he stepped into his room, they disappeared entirely.

“You. Little. Mother. Fucker.” A redhead ground out as she sat cross-legged on his bed. She sharpened her blade upon his bed, and occasionally, she’d pick off flakes of mud and blood from the hilt. The comforter looked like a mess. ‘Odin’ dreaded sleeping in there already. “How do you even pull this  _ off?” _

“I have to admit, it’s impressive.” Sitting on his desk, a gray-haired man casually paged through a book. When ‘Odin’ said nothing, a smug smile spread across his face. “Oh, you’ll hate me later, but I knew you wouldn’t protest if I read your diary now. Sometimes, you gotta take one for the team.”

“No. Shut up and stop being a bad influence.” She suddenly threw her sword aside and stalked up to him. “You remember  _ nothing?” _

“You owe me money,” the man casually called out.

‘Odin’ blinked. “That… Seems like a lie.”

“He lost his memory, not his IQ.” Her face contorted into a mix of a snarl and a laugh, and she flipped off the other man. Then, she was gazing at his face as if it hid some secret he refused to part. Her hand drifted off, and her fingers ghosted over his eyes and then travelled down to his forearm.

Before he could say anything, she abruptly struck him across the face. ‘Odin’ stumbled back, and he threw up his hands. A cloud of blue danced between his fingers, curling around each finger. He had a feeling he could point it, and the magic would follow.

She stood with a dare written across her face. She shifted her arm over slightly, a shield glimmering on her upper arm. “What? Are you going to let me push you around like that? Are you going to  _ let  _ me win? I can take you in a fight.”

“I…” he debated it for a second before letting his hands drop to his side. “I didn’t know I could do magic.”

“It wasn’t your first choice, once upon a time.” The man gently pulled back the redhead. 

‘Odin’ paused. “So, why’d I switch?”

“Let’s go with an easier question. I’m…” His eyes suddenly snapped to the redhead, and a silent war waged between the two of them. She shook her head slightly. When he opened his mouth to protest, she shook her head hard enough for her head to pop off her shoulders. “Fine. I’m Laslow, and this is Selena.”

“Are you sure?” The words sprung out immediately. It didn’t suit them. The longer he stared at them to acquaint them with the names, the less they made sense. It felt a lot like his own name felt. ‘Odin’ couldn’t have been his first name. 

Then, the second reason the names dug into him made their appearance. Those were the people Niles and Lord Leo were discussing as he dozed! And… And they had suggested their names were fake and… “Are these our real names?”

“They’re real enough,” Selena said dismissively. 

Laslow nodded. “You want the other name? You gotta work for it… And by work for it, I mean you gotta remember on your own.”

“This seems like blackmail. I’m injured and weak,” he said slowly. 

A smile curled onto Laslow’s face. “Glad to know you haven’t lost the puppy dog eyes. Selena, look at them. He is the  _ spitting  _ image of his mother- I swear to Naga, if you hit me for saying that, I’ll hit you back.”

“That’s abuse,” Selena snapped back. She smacked his shoulder hard before glancing back to ‘Odin’. “Look, I want to help you remember and some shit, but I really can’t. And frankly, why would you even want to remember? Maybe you should count this as some blessing. You can still be the same person-”

“You can’t be the same person without the same memories,” argued Laslow instantly. 

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m almost certain he’s the same person we’ve always known. You said it yourself… He kept his mother’s image.”

“I think it’s unsettling. He looks  _ at  _ us, but it’s like we’re someone completely different. He doesn’t…” Laslow waved his hand vaguely at ‘Odin’, as if that served as an explanation. Judging by the way Selena huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, she genuinely let that convince her.

‘Odin’ cleared his throat. “I’m  _ right  _ here. You don’t have to talk about me like I’m not around. You don’t-”

“He doesn’t even talk like himself,” Selena murmured. 

He directly stepped between Selena and Laslow. “How do I  _ usually  _ talk? Lord Leo said the same thing!”

“Like you ate a book of poetry, and you are constantly in the progress of puking it up.”

Laslow pointed at Selena. “There is no better explanation than that.”

“I can try?” ‘Odin’ said after a few seconds. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine poetry. He suddenly realized that, while he knew what poetry meant, he couldn’t recall any specific poems he ever read. 

Suddenly, the other man gasped. “I have an idea. Read this… It’s how you talk!” 

‘Odin’s’ eyes flew open the second someone pushed a book into his chest. He glanced down to see the diary Laslow read earlier. Hesitantly, he glanced at the page it still stayed open to. His eyes danced from line to line while his mouth moved silently. Something in his mind protested it, saying it felt weird and clunky… But the familiarity of the phrasing felt like a groove to slip into.

_ “As of today, I declare myself a mage of no parallel. The reason can be found in my twisted roots. Should I have emerged from the shadows of Nohr or the sunlight of Hoshido, perhaps my raging blood would stay still and let the world pulse for me. However, a warrior inside me screams for release as I step onto the battlefield. Anyone between me and Leo shall perish as not one person will harm my dear lord.” _

When he stopped reading, it took a few seconds for his two friends to respond. “So? Stir any memories?”

“No,” ‘Odin’ said slowly, “but I think I can pretend… I could talk like this if it made you feel better.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Selena said fondly. “I’m not here to deal with self-sacrificing idiots. If you want us to feel better, talk about something else. C’mon… Did you hear that Laslow got shot down for tea again?”

“Hey!”

-

At least thrice a day, someone locked their arm in his and dragged him towards the medic’s tent. Sometimes, it was the pink-haired princess who checked up on him. She spoke in low tones, almost impossible to hear, and once, she got so flustered she dropped the staff. Most of the time, though, it was Lord Leo’s baby sister who steered him to the cot to deliver some form of a checkup.

She felt familiar in a way he couldn’t quite identify. He basked in her energy like it was sunshine, and it felt as if it filled him up inside. All of the broken pieces started to meld together, and the empty parts of him no longer burnt him up inside. 

Then, he tried to remember something, and he shattered all over again.

The young princess’s hands roamed his head, gently digging her fingers into his hair as if searching for a crack. He doubted any  _ physical  _ scar kept him imperfect. Instead, it was something deep within him. “You should grow out your hair! I bet it’d be fun, little loops! Or maybe they’d be super  _ intense  _ spikes!”

“Aren’t they intense enough for you now, princess?” ‘Odin’ asked, a smile starting to curl onto his face. 

Her jaw dropped dramatically before bouncing on her heels, clapping her hands together. “They need to be  _ cooler!  _ Like,  _ Odin Dark, scion of darkness  _ cool! Ooh, that sounds like something you’d say, right?”

“I’m… In the dark about that,” he said after a few seconds.

Elise flinched. “Right. Oh… Wait! Then, we can re-learn together. We can be, like, besties until you’ve recovered!”

“How are we going to do that?” He paused when she felt a lump on the back of his head, struggling not to flinch.

Judging by the way her eyes narrowed, she saw  _ straight  _ through that. “Is it just the pressure? Or is it headaches? Blurred vision?”

“My head feels fine,” ‘Odin’ said after a few seconds.  _ That  _ part was true. Whenever he dozed from the accident, his thoughts ached in a way he never felt before. They pierced into him like a million tiny blades digging beneath his skin. He woke up with a dry mouth and whatever memory fading away faster than he could remember. 

That wasn’t even mentioning the constant fever buzzing through his skin. Sometimes, he had to pause and press his head against something cool just to relieve the feeling of baking inside his own skin. Sometimes, he ended up curled against one of his friends to try and seek out relief. Laslow never said anything, opting to awkwardly pet his head, and Selena huffed dramatically before giving in. 

And Odin had absolutely  _ no  _ desire to curl up against Niles and Lord Leo like a cat.

Elise suddenly patted his leg, gently pushing away his thigh. When ‘Odin’ shifted to accommodate for her, she plopped next to him.  _ “You’re  _ going to teach me magic! Or how to speak like you! Leo keeps telling me that I  _ ‘shouldn’t get involved in the war because I’m too young.’” _

“Wars take people young.” The words slipped off ‘Odin’s’ tongue with no hesitation. He made eye contact with Elise, and he noted the way her face seemed to scrunch up ever so slightly. Guilt stirred in his stomach. Quickly, he sprung on something he  _ knew  _ would cheer her up. “Uh, wars turn the very blood of saints black, but it lightens the blood of sinners. Lines blur on the battlefield until, emerging from the shadows, arrives the heroes. Heroes, who never once let their blood blacken. Heroes, such as the princess of light standing before the fantastic Odin Dark!”

“Yay! You’re back!” Elise flung her arm about his shoulders, capturing him into a half-hug. He let out a light laugh, immediately chased by the princess’s giggle. Maybe the glow of everyone’s smiles kept him in the persona of a flamboyant hero, accompanied by the words meant to be said in an oath, in a legend. 

‘Odin’ cleared his throat. “So, you wanted to learn magic?”

“Do you mean it?” She sprung off the cot immediately, knocking over her staff which was already precariously balanced. Her violet eyes glowed with the prospect, and ‘Odin’ found himself losing some of the knots twisting past behind his shoulder blades, behind his back.

As he got to his feet, he sent a precautionary glance outside of the tent. The last thing he desired was to get on Lord Leo’s bad side. Yet, something about his words rung true nonetheless. He didn’t care what age Elise was… He didn’t even remember what age  _ he  _ was. But the war wouldn’t care either. If he wanted to offer her any sort of protection, someone would have taught her how to utilise her innate magic… And considering Lord Leo’s passion for spells, he had to believe she had something inside her too.

When nobody arrived, he nodded to himself. Then, he thought back to when he summoned the sparks when Selena slapped him. The roar inside him brought the attack to the surface. It wanted to keep him safe, and it wanted to prevent anything bad from ever touching him. It wanted to…  _ Protect.  _

‘Odin’ closed his eyes, and he thought of all the people he just met. He thought of the way Niles sauntered from place to place, feet impossibly light as if he could walk on air if he wished. He thought of the way Lord Leo danced his fingers on arms of chairs and covers of books, a quiet energy bursting free from him. He thought of the easy way Selena and Laslow’s cheeks flooded with an irrational heat after getting a compliment… But Selena blushed for defensiveness, and Laslow blushed for shyness.

‘Odin’ opened his eyes, and weaving between his fingers was quick bursts of wind. Elise stared at it stunned. “That’s so cool!”

“Step number one? Think of the things you…” He hesitated before deciding on the word he wanted. “Think of the things you love. And don’t let anything take it away.”

-

“Odin?” The voice drifted on the cold wind. He sat on the railing of the balcony, cape fluttering in the breeze. Originally, ‘Odin’ sought out other clothes to wear. However, with the warmth coiled neatly beneath his skin like a snake ready to strike, he couldn’t find anything that wouldn’t make him sweat. Besides, the familiarity of the clothing provided another escape from a world where he couldn’t be what was expected.

He turned and glanced over his shoulder. A smile immediately split his face, and he almost toppled off the railing to greet him. “Ah! The fair Lord Leo approached, undaunted by the call and the song of the moonlight-”

“I can tell you’re not used to it. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. Don’t just pretend to do something to please me. It’s not your job.” Hesitating, Lord Leo wrapped his hands around the railing opposed to joining him to sit on it. He leaned in, letting the wind buffet his hair around his face. For that second, ‘Odin’ felt his breath got sucked straight from his chest. He never saw the moon more enchanted by someone… And he never felt so enchanted by someone.

‘Odin’ cleared his throat and looked away before his beauty cast a greater spell on him. The blush and the stammering was one thing, and it already ventured too far into being familiar with someone he didn’t really know. “It seemed to please your sister. And Selena and Laslow, albeit briefly. Selena, uh, told me to shut up.”

“If two people informed you of something, it’d do you well to follow their advice.” Something pulled at his face. The next words escaped in more of a whisper than anything else, not intended for ‘Odin’s’ ears. “Then again, you never were one for doing the sensible thing.”

“Are you angry with me?” he said without a second thought. When he didn’t say anything in response, ‘Odin’ shifted closer to him. “Lord Leo-”

“Stop. Just…” He huffed out, leaning over the railing. 

Nodding quickly, ‘Odin’ pressed his lips together.

It took a few seconds for the other man to respond. When he did, he looked to ‘Odin’ with glittering eyes. His face had slipped shades paler when he resisted the urge to look at Lord Leo. “Don’t call me  _ Lord Leo  _ in private. It’s awkward, it’s clunky, and it’s…”

“Professional?” A smile inched its way on his face. He got a harsh look in return. At some point, he crossed some kind of line. The two of them kept dancing about it. However, ‘Odin’ couldn’t stop himself from stumbling. Lord-  _ Leo  _ knew something he didn’t. Whatever transpired in their past that made Leo uncomfortable around him, and it left ‘Odin’ at a complete loss. How do you apologize for something you don’t remember?

You try. 

‘Odin’ kicked his legs on the railing, unable to keep his energy from bursting out. “I’m sorry. I know that you’re angry with me, and I don’t know why, so whatever I can do to make it up to you-”

“Remember when I  _ just  _ told you to stop? I really did mean that when I said it.” Leo pushed away from the railing, suddenly stalking to the door back inside. ‘Odin’ debated, wondering if he should call after him or let him go. Maybe as someone else, he could have called him back. But not like this. Not like who he was.

He stared at the grounds below, keeping his hands clamped tightly to the railing. If the wind pushed him too hard, ‘Odin’ wanted to be sure he wouldn’t go toppling to the ground. Anyway, there was a conversation going on far below. He couldn’t make out a single word, but the intent of the conversation was clear enough.

Ever since he lost his memory, his circle of friends was very lacking. Nobody really bothered to introduce him to more than who he could handle… And apparently handle meant the two people he worked with, any of the medics, and Laslow and Selena. 

Below, he found one of the medics he recognized. However, she changed out of the uniform and instead wore silky pajamas. The other person had their white hair bound back in a ponytail, their usual armor replaced by pajamas as well. Many people wandered around at night in loose, free clothes rather than the constricting armor… Unless, of course, they were on guard that night. ‘Odin’ was taken off that particular rotation until he remembered  _ anything. _

Every once and awhile, their quiet conversation beneath the tree cut off. The person would lean in close to the woman, trying to seek out her lips. Soon after, the medic pushed her back, and they went back to giggling and gossiping about anything and everything.

Then, they tackled her into the grass, and their giggles filled the air.

“What are you looking at?” The voice from behind startled him, and ‘Odin’ whipped his head around to stare at him. Leo casually leaned against the wall in an attempt to still appear casual. However, the tension was written in his shoulders and his face, even if he didn’t voice it aloud. 

He shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know them well, but-”

“Who?” Striding forward, Leo took the position he had previously. Immediately, a blush hit his face, and he whipped around to avoid the pairing. “Oh. My sibling.”

“What’s their name?”

Leo froze a little. When ‘Odin’ offered a quietly questioning gaze, the man offered a reluctant smile. “Sorry. It’s just… You did the correct pronouns without asking. Maybe there is something you  _ do  _ remember. That’s Corrin… And that’s Felicia, but I’m sure you’ve seen her around.”

“They’re together?” Something about the idea captured ‘Odin’s’ attention. It felt… Wrong. Royal blood mixing with someone not royal? Wouldn’t they constantly feel inferior? How could they ever be the person they need to be? They needed to be the retainer of the royal as well as the lover. Those jobs could never mix freely-

He shook as a wave of heat slapped against him. Before he could fully recover, Leo was in front of him and taking in his expression. His hands were firmly placed on his shoulders to keep him from falling off the railing. “Odin, are you alright? What just happened?”

‘Odin’ hesitated before leaning in, capturing the lord’s lips with his own. Leo froze, and ‘Odin’ pushed back. “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have-”

“Shut up for once in your life.” A coy smile toyed at his face before Leo retook his lips. ‘Odin’ hadn’t anticipated the way the lord’s hands instantly flew to tangle in his blond hair. Leo moved against him, summoning a passion to meet ‘Odin’s’ until they both flooded with the same love. It felt like it  _ should.  _ ‘Odin’ must have done this in the past… Right?

Then, Leo moved back and pressed his forehead against his. “Odin…”

The way his name flowed off his tongue suddenly made ‘Odin’ pause. He said his name different, ever so slightly, and it suddenly felt  _ right.  _ It felt like a compliment and a declaration of love all in one. He was Odin. 

“I can see the whole world in your eyes,” Odin murmured.

Suddenly, Leo pulled back, his brown eyes glittering. “That’s exactly what you said the first time too.”

“I can say it for a third time,” teased Odin before leaning in to get another kiss.

-

At lunch, while Odin usually attempted to dine with Laslow and Selena currently, the person from the previous night suddenly slid across from them. Laslow’s face lit up immediately, and he leaned across the table. “Have you finally come to meet me for tea, dear Corrin?”

“You know I have no intention to do so.” Corrin winked brightly at Laslow, who pouted dramatically. 

Selena pushed at Laslow before glancing at Corrin. “Sorry. I try and control him, but sometimes, you really can’t control an idiot. If he had even  _ two  _ brain cells, he’d do better. But y’know, I give up on him! And Odin, most days!”

“I’m going to give up on Odin as well. What was that I heard about you and my brother?” Corrin asked after a few seconds. 

Laslow immediately swatted at Odin, who flinched ever so slightly.  _ “What?  _ You and Leo became a thing! Look, this is the first thing you’re supposed to do! You tell your  _ best friends  _ about your win! I can barely get anyone to agree to tea, and you’re over here winning hearts without any memory.”

“Laslow, kindly shut the fuck up,” Corrin said.

Odin nodded enthusiastically. “Thank you! Even the royal themself will not fall to your beguiling arrows! If you wish to seek out a date-”

“It’s not as good. You need more practice,” Selena interrupted.

Nodding, Corrin finally gave his two friends a pointed look. “So if you  _ excuse me,  _ I need to protect my little brother’s heart. Actually, you know what, excuse  _ us.  _ Odin, get up. You’re going to show me around.”

“I… Don’t remember anything?” he hopelessly said, accompanied with a halfhearted shrug.

Corrin got to their feet before reaching for Odin and dragging him to his feet. Then, they were ushering him out the door and linking their arms together to ensure he had no chance of escaping. All the while, people in the mess hall stopped to stare at him. Even the people from Hoshido, people he was informed he didn’t have  _ great  _ connections with, paused mid-bite in their meals.

As they started to walk around the castle, Corrin made it clear who was dominating the conversation. “See, we had this talk in the past, but you were a lot harder to get to walk around with me. Last time, you kept sprinting off to do some errand or another. Naming weapons or target practice or whatever. It’s a lot easier when you just… Stay still.”

“If we’ve already visited this conversation in the past,” Odin started, “why should we revisit it? My intentions shine all the purer without my memories to serve as an alternative motive! I am a blank slate, and if he so desires to write upon it with our connection, how could I ever deny him?”

“Because I need to know. You went to him when you didn’t remember, and you go to him when you do. You  _ honestly  _ seem to love him.” Corrin paused in their thinking, making their musing obvious.

Odin nodded. “I believe I do. My heart pumps for Leo and bleeds for him all the same-”

“You, Laslow, and Selena came out of nowhere. Every once and awhile, you’d talk about disappearing and never being seen again. I don’t know if plans change until you remember. I don’t know  _ if  _ you’ll remember. But I need you to promise you won’t leave my brother if you truly love him this much.” They halted in their lazy, loping path, and they met Odin’s astonished gaze.

He had plans? Laslow and Selena never once mentioned having to go back to…  _ Wherever  _ their home country was. In fact, all he knew was that he didn’t originate from Nohr and that there was a high probability his name was never Odin. But… He wasn’t sure what he’d return to.

It felt wrong to say he wouldn’t though. So, instead, he dodged the question. “I can’t answer that until I remember.”

“Sure.” Corrin rolled their eyes, obviously unimpressed. 

Odin bit down on his tongue before deflecting in the only way he felt possible. “So, Felicia? And you?”

_ “That  _ is complicated. But do you know what else is complicated?” A smug expression flew across Corrin’s face. “You and Leo. And, last time I heard, something about Niles-”

“What about Niles?”

“Leo and Niles have been a thing since forever.” Corrin continued to chatter on mindlessly, but Odin felt his own mind disconnect from this situation. He hadn’t known Niles and Leo had any sort of connection. Had he imposed on their relationship? Was he an outside force, a  _ mistress,  _ to the lord? Was he going to ruin his own relationships the second he lost his memories, and if he ever regained them, would he never be able to remake them?

-

Niles cornered him in the stables. “You’re being weird around me.”

“Me? Be weird?  _ Never.”  _ Odin tried to duck around Niles, but he should have guessed the thief would be more agile than he could be. He slammed into Niles’ abdomen, stunned by how rock hard it was. Then, he shook himself to keep  _ those  _ thoughts out of his head. They came completely unbidden, but Odin had no desire to flirt with two people and lead them on. He could only be with someone he  _ truly  _ loved.

And if his traitorous heart fluttered around Niles, then it was just confused… Then again, Odin  _ was  _ confused. He couldn’t be sure what his relationship was with Leo. Was  _ he  _ the interloper? Or was Niles? Or, hell, did it begin with him and Niles, and Odin just hadn’t gotten the memo yet?

Niles placed a hand on his shoulder, fingers curling to bite into his skin. “Unlike you, I have people skills, and I can tell when people are avoiding me.”

“Does it happen often?” Odin asked, hoping the teasing words would be surprising enough to get Niles to back off. Instead, his grip seemed to increase, and Niles raised an eyebrow. “Sorry.”

“What  _ happened?”  _ Niles suddenly paused, wrinkling his nose up ever so slightly. “What have you heard about me?”

“What?” The question suddenly threw Odin off balance. Did he really want to tell him that Corrin was going around, gossiping about their younger brother’s relationships? He knew they acted as the matchmaker of the army. Selena and Laslow both grouched for what felt like hours after Corrin left about their failed matches at the hands of Corrin. If Corrin liked a couple, they suddenly spent more time together on the battlefield. And if they didn’t like them, sometimes they got split up.

It all felt a little too manipulative to Odin, but something tugged at him… As if the leaders of most armies spent more times on coupling up their army rather than actually fighting in the war.

Niles waited a few seconds, and when it became clear Odin had no intention of speaking, he sighed. “Look, I know I don’t have the most…  _ Savory  _ past, and you’ve been spending a lot of time around Laslow and Elise. Both of them have a very… Rainbow and sunshine outlook on life, and my life has neither of those.”

“No! It’s nothing about that!” Odin quickly said. 

He raised an eyebrow. “Then what other reason do you have for avoiding me?”

“I… I don’t know? I’ve just been busy?” Why was every word coming out of his mouth arriving as a  _ question?  _ He needed to sound sure rather than hesitant. He needed… Well, Odin wasn’t sure what exactly he needed, but he definitely wanted to be out of this conversation. Otherwise, he was certain he’d end up in some fight with his fellow retainer, and he  _ liked  _ Niles from what he could tell.

After all, his body worked on muscle memory rather than his actual memory. He noticed the way his heartbeat picked up when he was around Leo and Niles, and he knew his breath wasn’t so easily stolen away by anyone else. He  _ also  _ understood some people had multiple crushes and acted on them, but was that the relationship here? He should’ve questioned Corrin further, but he was so sure he’d mess things up.

Niles’ eyes roamed his face before he paused. “Is this about Lord Leo?”

“Of course not!” His voice got incredibly loud all of a sudden, and he squirmed a little under Niles’ gaze. “Look at the sun! Wow, it’s getting late, and I know Princess Elise wants to check up on me-”

“Not so fast.” Niles snagged his shoulder and yanked him back to face him. When he spun Odin around to  _ force  _ Odin to look him in the eye, he reluctantly met Niles’ gaze. Then, before he could even blink, Niles was kissing him, harder than Leo but the love present nonetheless.

Odin pushed him away quickly. His voice came out as a pathetic squeak. “What?”

“Brief history lesson,” Niles started, keeping his eyes trained on Odin’s lips, “yes. You’re the third one. Me and Leo were together before you came along, but after awhile, we fell for you despite your  _ loudness.  _ If we’re willing to put up with that, then we must truly love you, right? And you obviously liked us back, so we became a thing. Understood?”

“So nobody’s cheating on anyone?” Odin said slowly.

“Well,” he amended quickly, “you’re cheating me out of a kiss and mind-blowing sex, but I figured you were on medical leave. But if you were getting it on with Leo without informing me? For shame.”

“I… Will tell you next time.” Odin smiled brightly. 

-

Odin woke up to the distinct feeling he was cooking alive in his skin. He stirred, grasping out blindly for  _ anything.  _ Instead, his fingers latched onto someone else’s skin. The slightest contact made his hand quiver, and he plunged his head into their neck. Already, he was exhausted.

“Odin?” the person mumbled, shifting to try and look at him. The movement jarred him, and it felt as if his blood tried to rip itself free of his body. He moaned and tried to curl tighter around the clammy skin and kick off the blankets in the same movement.

Awareness flooded into his lover’s voice immediately. “Odin, what’s going on?”

“Can’t…” His voice escaped in a breath, but once he started talking, a weight pressed down on his chest. He gasped for air and tried to wrestle away to breathe away from the stifled, contained environment. He was too close to both of them, and they no longer felt cold… They felt incredibly hot, and he was burning alive.

Someone’s fingers wrapped around his wrist as he tried to tumble off the end of the bed. “Where are you going?”

“I can’t… I  _ can’t…”  _ Odin crouched to the ground and pressed his forehead to the sheets. He gripped the corner of the mattress to try and collect himself in any way he could. Something started building the second he went closer to the ground. 

Their cold fingers forced his chin upwards before Leo recoiled. “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

“I don’t-” The words trickled off as the dryness in his mouth turned oppressive. He choked before his vision blurred blue. His body convulsed as a jolt of electricity ran through his body.

_ - _

Owain snapped awake, immediately sitting up to shake off the last tendrils of sleep. His head slammed into someone's chin. Toppling off the cot, his whole body ached from the impact of the blow. He reeled back before groping for his sword. He always kept one near his bed, just in case. When his hands fell short of the telltale weapon, he brought up his fists and got ready to take the first swing.

“Odin-”

“They’ll know where I am. They’ll find me,” Owain warned instantly. It was only fair. Whenever any one of them went missing, they  _ knew  _ where to look. The two men before him didn’t quite look like the typical Grimleal, but they could be anyone nowadays.

They exchanged eye contact. Then, one of them put up his hands and their most persuasive voice. “Odin, look. We’re completely unarmed. We can’t hurt you in any way.”

“One does not need the weight of weapons to fight. The barb of words can suffice… And some words carry toxins.” Owain’s eyes snapped to the book beside the man. The man seemed to notice it as well, and he sighed before edging away from it cautiously. 

The other finally spoke, a wry purr. “If we wanted to hurt you, we’d do it in more creative ways. Stand down.”

“A book of that magnitude does not carry a folk tale or the song of a legend. Instead, it only displays magic of the darkest variety,” Owain said after a few seconds. He started inching towards the front of the tent. “You are not the harmless civilian you ask me to believe you to be. You are a mage.”

“Dark knight,” the blond corrected. His brown eyes softened. “Odin, you  _ know  _ that-”

“While the name is rather epic on its own, my name is not that one.” He paused before revealing his own. If he did, the Grimleal would know of his exalted blood. They’d string him up to bring before Grima, and he’d rather escape the camp before it came to that.

The dark knight bit down on his bottom lip. “Niles, go get Laslow. Or Selena.”

“Reinforcements? I believe that is my cue to exit.” Owain swung around, trying to leave the tent. Instantly, he slammed into someone’s armor. They reeled back, and he reached forward and snatched the sword straight out of the sheath on the opponent’s hip. He backed up and held it up threateningly before his posture drooped. “Severa?”

The girl who  _ might  _ be Severa froze, taking in his facial features. For a long while, she spoke of doing  _ anything  _ to get rid of her father’s hair. She hacked it short, and she discussed dying it with people she came across. Ultimately, though, Severa couldn’t part with one last reminder of her father. 

But with her mother’s hair color, he  _ definitely  _ saw more Cordelia than Frederick. She might wear new, different armor, and she definitely looked older, but…

“You’re going to  _ shut the fuck up,”  _ she said, leaving no doubt in his mind that,  _ yes,  _ this was Severa, “until we figured out what’s going on.”

“I will gladly cease my talking when the danger has safely passed! Dear Severa, I will gladly purge them to save you from-”

“I didn’t say shut up when you  _ feel  _ like it. This? This is  _ complicated.”  _ Severa waved her hand vaguely about before reaching forward and stealing her sword back. Leaning in to make sure the other men couldn’t hear, she dropped her voice to practically a whisper. “Like, Naga-time-travel levels.”

_ “Time travel?”  _ Odin mumbled, incredulous.

Severa stared at him, face twisting. “What’s… What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Morgan went missing, so Lucina wanted to mount a search party… But since she couldn’t leave the capital, she sent us.”

She froze and then swore fiercely in another language. Abruptly, he realized the whole time, he spoke with a different tongue than Ylisse’s natural tongue. It didn’t even match Valm or Regna Ferox. “Severa, where are we?”

“Nohr. And it’s been, like, a  _ long  _ time. C’mon.” Severa grabbed his arm and started pulling outside the tent.

The man cleared his throat. “Selena, we need-”

“Would you rather be attacked, or would you like me to find someone he’d actually  _ listen  _ to?” With that, Severa dragged him into the light.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated. Originally, Odin was going to regain his memory at the end of the chapter, but instead, he only got his memories back to the point of being Owain. Also for timeline... sometime during Revelations? Just suspend your belief a little haha... ALSO I don't feel great about my Niles' characterization, but I'm trying nonetheless :)


	2. Rough Draft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this became waaaaay more about Laslow, Selena, and Odin together rather than just Owain making friends. However, I did get to let Owain meet a few new people - there's definitely a snippet where he met Xander, and a snippet where he met Camilla, but neither of those made ANY sense haha

In the mirror, a different reflection stared back at him. His eyes kept wandering the planes of his face, trying to keep his jaw from dropping to the ground. He wore a strange circlet hidden in his incredibly  _ blond  _ hair. Its hue belonged solely to his mother, his father’s trademark red gone. The outfit he donned befitted a mage opposed to a swordsman, and at some point, he became  _ old…  _ And at some point, he completely lost some of the scars he used to have. 

Then, he shifted and messed with the outfit, letting it expose his upper arm. He rubbed his thumb over the barren skin and tried to swallow down the shock. Some things in life were meant to stay  _ constant.  _ With the brand upon his skin, he could connect to the ancient lineage of heroes and exalts and…

His fingers kept tracing the shape of the Brand as if the ink would flow forth from his fingertips. “What  _ happened?” _

“I’d ask if you wanted the short version, but I don’t even know the short version of this,” Inigo casually threw out. When Owain turned, giving him an incredulous look, he blushed. “I really hate the way you keep staring at us. It makes me feel… Weird. And old. And uncomfortable in my own skin.”

“I’ll  _ keep  _ staring at you until I get an explanation!” Owain plopped down at the seat in front of the vanity, trying to distribute his stare between the two of them. 

Inigo’s gray hair stuck up in every direction, the blankets of his bed pooled around his lap. Owain debated asking if he could steal some considering the chill racing across his bare skin. However, there were tight bandages bound around his stomach. Every once and awhile, Inigo breathed too hard, and he flinched and gasped at pain… He wasn’t monstrous enough to make Inigo get out of bed.

Severa, on the other hand, leaned against the window with her red hair splayed on the glass. She bore no injury from the battle that claimed his memory and cracked Inigo’s ribs in equal measures. When Owain hesitantly asked, she pouted and grumbled that she wasn’t  _ allowed  _ to go that day. 

Owain cleared his throat. “Am I going to get an explanation?”

“It’s a  _ long  _ one.”

He went to beg for any kind of answer before he completely froze. Why was he even asking  _ these  _ two? Out of all the people he fought beside, out of all the Shepherds’ children he hung around, he wouldn’t trust either of them. The shy but shameless flirt and the defensive but aggressive daughter of a genius. “Where’s Luci?”

Severa stiffened, jaw tightening. Her expression completely iced over. The way the cold invaded and set her features made Owain pause. Usually, whenever someone even mentioned her, Severa hid a small but warm smile. Her entire face radiated the sunlight of a girl blessed by eternal life when the daughter of the exalt came into the picture. The ice etched into her features was usually reserved for mentions of Cordelia alone, not his cousin.

Clearing his throat, Inigo scanned her face cautiously. “That’s complicated.”

“She’s a bitch. I’d say bastard, but I have too much respect for her parents,” Severa snapped under her breath.

Owain grabbed the edge of the vanity’s bench, tightening his grip until his knuckles felt like they’d pop. “Whatever  _ issue  _ stirred up in your courtship with Lucina matters not. The bounds of love know no boundaries nor threshold. Soon, you shall reunite in a fiery fit of passion. However, I would like to meet her under the setting sun before you set it alight again.”

“No ‘boundaries’?” She snorted into her arm before turning away. Severa’s eyes scanned the wall before finally stepping away from the window. Then, she slammed her fist into the wall. Both Inigo and Owain flinched at the sound, but while Owain vibrated out of his skin at the loud noise, Inigo settled down by wrapping his arms around his middle and groaning.

Inigo cleared his throat. “We’re not exactly… In Ylisse anymore. Or anywhere nearby. And, as a result, we can’t reach any of our friends beside each other. So, we made new friends here, but-”

“Our  _ old  _ friends chose not to come with us. And we chose to be fucking heroes.  _ Again.”  _ Severa visibly took a breath to try and compose herself. With a scowl, she shook out her fist and let it drop to her side.

Inigo cleared his throat, shifting until he sat at the foot of his bed. Then, he silently gestured for Severa to sit down on the floor before the headboard. She quickly did so, dropping to the ground and leaning her head back. Inigo reached over and wiggled her hair free of the hair ties. Owain watched the whole process silently, absorbing the silent way he ran his fingers through her long hair.

Owain cleared his throat, trying to ignore how uncomfortable he became. Did Lucina know of  _ this  _ development? “Are you two a…?”

“Gross!” Severa cried at the same time Inigo offered a wink. Then, she narrowed her eyes at Owain. “I’ve been with you since I was  _ twelve years old,  _ and you think I have that bad of taste?”

“She likes royalty.” Inigo wiggled his eyebrows.

Reaching up and around, she swatted at his hands. “Anyway, I still remember your awkward voice cracks and bouts of crying. News flash! Snot and puberty is a hard pass for me.”

“It’s been, like, a decade since you’ve had to deal with that. Besides, I’ve heard my voice is an attractive baritone.” Inigo beamed. 

Before Owain can question the  _ decade  _ of time that passed, considering last he checked he  _ just  _ celebrated his fifteenth birthday without his parents, Severa held up a finger. “Me and Inigo are twenty-six; you’re twenty-five.”

“It’s been…  _ Ten years  _ is a long time! What happened? Did we win?” Owain’s head snapped from each of their faces, desperately seeking out the answer. When both of them shift awkwardly, he cleared his throat. “Fine, okay, just give me the rundown of every year. How has  _ ten years  _ passed?”

“His last memory is your sister fucking off to who knows where.” Considering the face Inigo instantly pulled and the way Severa spat out the words, they  _ both  _ knew where Morgan went when she separated from the group. He didn’t want to ask about that though. Whatever caused his friends such heartbreak in recalling the events, he’d gladly forget… At least for this moment.

Inigo paused in braiding Severa’s hair. “Fine. Brief rundown?”

“Just give me an  _ idea.”  _ Owain didn’t want to beg, but somehow, he was begging.

“It’s complicated.” The smile hinting at his face disappeared shortly after. “About six months after Morgan goes rogue, we travelled back in time. Then, we all split up in the past. We rejoined our parents at some point, rejoined  _ each  _ other, and we finished the war! That took, like, three years. We got a  _ singular  _ year of peace, and then someone asked us if we wanted to be heroes. Now, we’ve been in Nohr for five years, and we’re old… Ish.”

In some points, his mind ground to a stop in the conversation. Time travel came straight from fiction. In fact, he’d be more likely to reach that idea in his  _ own  _ writing rather than within the pages of a published novel. Then, he tried to swallow and move past that. If he wasn’t going to remember it anyway, he could pretend it was a book trapped inside a library. He didn’t have to pick it up and read it at that moment. 

Maybe, when Owain’s head stopped spinning, he’d venture a reread.

Slowly, he sat down cross-legged in front of Severa. He stared at her, taking in her serious expression. At least it wasn’t a joke. “Us heroes diverted the true course of time with a deft hand. Yet, as we rise like phoenixes from our dark pasts, I note no one else came with us. Does that mean the blood of a hero finally stilled? Does justice not flow through our Justice Cabal no more?”

“That’s complicated… Laslow, what the fuck are you doing? That’s Odin’s side. C’mon… See if muscle memory helps you. You’re better at braiding than he is anyway.” Severa shifted, her waterfall of red slapping weakly against her neck. He stared at her for a few seconds before taking the strands in his hands.

He cleared his throat. “I missed a lot.”

“That’s why we’re here.” Inigo shifted on the bed until he laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling. “You might miss the past, but you won’t miss us. We’re not going anywhere.”

-

Barely into an hour of their explanations, someone pounded on their door as if their life depended on it. He instantly turned to them, ready to be the hero, but he got met with two harsh stares. Inigo waved both of them to hide behind his bed as he hobbled over to the door, hand tightly wrapped about his ribs.

“Laslow! I hope you’re decent because I’m coming in!” The girl’s voice cut through the wood, brash and shameless. Inigo laughed under his breath before stepping aside. A second later, the door swung open to reveal someone he never met before. He tried to make a connection to someone he knew before, but the closest he could get was Say’ri. She certainly wore a similar outfit.

Inigo flashed a bright smile. “My flower, have you missed me?”

“I… Aren’t you two supposed to be retainers? I can see both of you.” She stepped around Inigo, giving a suspicious look to Severa and him. Severa threw up her hands before climbing on the bed, and Owain reluctantly sat besides her. He would have preferred to at least learn her name before he revealed his presence.

Then, the girl spun on her heel and ignored them. Her brown curls slapped Inigo across the face. While Inigo spat the strands out of his mouth, she planted her hands on her hips. “If you’re healthy enough to do…  _ This,  _ you’re healthy enough to go on patrol with me! I don’t want you to get weak when you need to protect Lord Xander! I would feel awful if Lady Sakura only had one capable retainer!”

“Are you  _ worried  _ about me?” Inigo dramatically placed his hand on his chest. “I’m  _ touched.” _

“Are your ribs still busted up?” The girl pressed her lips together, and Inigo gasped.

The action obviously pained him judging by the way his face contorted at the action. However, he pressed through it nonetheless. “Is that my gift to you? I knew you wanted to wear it! It was a good buy!”

“It was  _ nothing.”  _ She hesitated, eyes sweeping over the two of them. For whatever reason, a shadow danced across her features as she wrinkled her nose at him. Looking away sharply, she turned back to Inigo

Severa’s hand slammed on his knee, Owain flinching. “What the  _ hell  _ is that about, Hana? If you got a problem with our friend, you take it up with us right now.”

“He made Lady Sakura upset,” Hana said after a few seconds. She folded her arms over her chest.

Snorting, Severa narrowed her eyes. “So, do you  _ think  _ that was Odin’s intent when he leapt in front of a spell for his liege? To get his memory wiped? ‘Cuz if that’s what you’re implying, you are a  _ big  _ bitch. Or maybe what you’re saying is that…  _ You  _ wouldn’t do it, and you’re jealous because he’s a bigger hero and a better retainer than you’d ever be. Is that it, Hana?”

“I am a  _ great  _ retainer. I’m not hiding out in my friend’s bedroom when I could be training. And I’m a better friend than you because I’m bringing Laslow to Sakura to get healed up.” Hana stuck her nose in the air before pulling Inigo outside the door. 

Inigo threw out his hands, immediately freeing himself. “Ladies, ladies! There’s no need to fight over me… There’s enough to go around-”

“You’re disgusting!” Severa shouted over the end of his sentence. She flipped around to face Owain instead, making it clear the conversation was over.

Hana looked hesitant before gritting her teeth. “How you became a retainer when you’re more concerned with chasing skirts is beyond me. And Selena, I heard that Camilla was looking for you to talk about this schedule change you requested.”

“Oh, shit,” Severa then cursed a few times in their native tongue. Owain felt surprisingly reassured at hearing their old language. As Inigo allowed the short girl drag him out of his own chambers, Severa started bouncing around the room to try and collect all of her gear to go meet her liege.

Owain cleared his throat. “I, Owain Dark, will venture out of the clutches of my two protectors for the time being. While they prevented any wounds from occurring, they sought not to let me become scarred and calloused. My sword hand  _ aches  _ to be reunited with a blade, and my blood roars for some action rather than words tossed about by knights.”

“I don’t trust you outside of this room.” Severa drew her sword and ducked the blade beneath his chin. While her words held no menace and the actions could only be perceived as aggressive, he softened upon seeing the concern in her eyes. It was the same way she used to look at them before they set out to do something impossible. It was the same way she told them ‘not to be fucking losers’ before a fight because she didn’t know how to plead with them to stay alive any other way.

So, Owain did what he did best. He offered a huge, toothy smile and threw out some words he knew Severa wouldn’t follow to the end. “Whatever the wish of the lady is shall become the order of me! Defiling the words of someone as precious to me as you would be as bad as ripping the petals off the flower of life. Defiling-”

“Okay, sweet, got it. Don’t do anything stupid.” Severa’s eyes swept him up and down as one last reminder before she sighed and sheathed her sword. She left the room without any further words, making sure to slam it behind her.

He waited about five minutes before getting to his feet. He needed a way to protect himself, and where better to find a sword than the camp’s shop?

-

Owain made it  _ maybe  _ three minutes before hearing a voice he couldn’t resist following. In his defense, he had no clue how to leave the weird tree fortress. In a way, it reminded him of the Mila Tree. Owain wanted to ask Tiki how she managed to sleep in a tree for so long… But everyone knew she only spoke with Nah and Lucina. Whenever he approached, she looked at him so sadly that he felt as if he just kicked a puppy or something. He stopped approaching after a while and just let her be a voiceless legend.

He found his way to a balcony where the two men from before sat, talking. One of them sat on the railing without a second thought, legs dangling off the edge. The other sat with his back to the bars, a book sprawled in his book. The wind danced with the edges of the paper, trying to flip it from whatever his finger marked. Both of them spoke in hushed tones as if afraid to notify others of their conversation.

Before either could notice, Owain ducked behind the wall and turned his head to eavesdrop.

“Milord, you’ll burn yourself out. Just because we didn’t solve it this time doesn’t mean we won’t solve it later. Odin wouldn’t want you to kill yourself.” The man adjusted his grip on the railing as the wind intensified. Owain shivered just at the thought of toppling off the edge, and the cold left a trail of goosebumps scattered across his bare skin. 

The man with the book paused, his fingers curling tightly around the binding. “You know as well as I do that the curse isn’t gone. If anything, I’d guess he has  _ less  _ time. We got back some of his memories… What if the rest are out of reach?”

“He kissed us both before, no memory. Perhaps he just wants to be with us.” He turned his head slightly, and then the man’s single eye met with his. He showed no sign of acknowledging Owain there. Instead, he fixated prominently on the man.  _ “Lord Leo,  _ maybe we should just go talk to Odin. If we explained, maybe he’d be able to help us.”

“We’re complete strangers… I’m not sure I can handle his eyes staring through me again.” Leo sighed and leant back against the bars. Slowly, he ran his hand through his blond hair until it stuck up in every direction. Owain leant a little closer to take in the finer details of the picture. 

Just this morning, he woke up to the strangers hovering by his sick bed. How quickly the man seemed to deteriorate startled him. His face was painted pale and ashen, and his eyes seemed to wander listlessly on the page. Leo sighed and closed it, pushing it until it slapped against the bars of the balcony. He shifted the book, about ready to let it fall to the ground.

Sighing, the other man swung his legs over and crouched in front of Leo. He gently tapped his fingers against his chin until his man looked him in the eye. “You worry too much, milord. We can protect him… We can  _ fix  _ this.”

“The only reason he needs  _ fixing  _ is because he took a blow for me. Why did… Why did someone want to wipe  _ my  _ memories?” Suddenly, something lit up in Leo’s eyes. He pushed the other away and climbed to his feet. “We’ve been looking in the wrong place to cure this! We keep considering it as an attack against  _ Odin’s  _ body, against whatever  _ his  _ blood has. But it wasn’t targeted at him!”

“What are you talking about? Magical lightning usually isn’t the sign of blood magic.” The one-eyed man waited patiently.

Leo explained without skipping a beat. He tucked his book underneath his arm. “Do you remember how Odin’s eyes looked when he woke up last night?”

“I remember the sparks coming  _ off  _ his body were blue-”

“But his eyes were  _ red.  _ It was a red herring! They assumed we wouldn’t have any time to consider it! It was probably more lethal on  _ me  _ rather than Odin…” Leo’s face completely lit up. “We need to go find Odin.”

“Oh, boy, don’t I have a surprise for you?” He cleared his throat. “I’m Niles, by the way.”

“The whispers of greatness reached me, and I could not be persuaded away by any means. I apologize for waiting by the wall, but I do not apologize for answering the call of your hearts… They rang out clearly even from within the hollows of this tree.” Owain puffed out his chest.

Niles gave him a curious look. “I would have expected you to have changed your attire. After all, your…  _ Friends  _ were having their way with you in their bedroom.”

“My friends were children of heroes. The greatness of our kin would create a reckless child, the scion of legends both light and dark.” He sniffed pointedly. He never  _ once  _ considered being with either Severa or Inigo. Both of them were his very good  _ friends.  _ Once the world started crashing and shattering down around him, they all banded together to create a makeshift family to fill a void the other kids couldn’t. His Justice Cabal indulged in his fantasies, but Inigo and Severa both grounded him. Lucina couldn’t spare a second to let him prove himself… Even if the same question  _ constantly  _ bounced around in his skull.

If Lucina fell, would Owain be able to wield the Falchion?

Leo suddenly grabbed his arm, and Owain yelped like a kicked dog at his cold fingers. He traced his veins up and down. “Blood magic is known to have different side effects when the wrong blood is used. They intended to get at  _ me,  _ not you. So, the only way to truly purge this curse from you is to find a blood mage who can create an antidote from the same blood that caused this poison… Mine.”

“Blood mages are hard to come by,” Niles noted.

Owain bit down his instant response. For awhile, the least qualified Shepherd corralled all the children together. While he  _ practically  _ had children, he was nobody’s biological father. Henry took them globe-trotting, as he phrased it, to try and keep them all out of harm’s way. However, they knew it was only a matter of time war caught up to them, and Henry never knew how to stay out of danger.

Before their parents all started dying, one by one, he knew Tharja and Henry both dabbled in blood magic. 

He cleared his throat. “Isn’t there a blood mage in the army?”

“Nyx,” Leo said at the same time Niles said, “You.”

Owain froze, and his eyes skipped back and forth between the two of them. “I… I know the ancient art of blood? But no heroics can be sought from such a dark art. No good man walks down that road.”

“Odin, you are a good man,” Leo said after a few seconds. 

He slowly slipped out of their reach. “I will not aid in that. In fact, I… I made a sacred oath to my knights, and now I must return to serve out vigil.”

Niles sprung forward and blocked the route. His eye swept him before his hands drifted to the knot about his neck, gently pulling the cloak free of his shoulders and placing it on Owain’s shoulders. “The first curse burnt you up inside. This one obviously is freezing you. Next time, don’t suffer in silence… It’s a  _ lot  _ more fun to suffer together.”

-

When he woke up, the taste of ash settled thickly upon his tongue. The rancid breath of the Risen still hovered in the air, and if he breathed too deeply, that was he could smell. He flipped over the body next to him and puked all over the floor. By the time his shoulders stopped shaking, he almost felt ready to topple off the bed and into the pile of his own sick. 

He cleared his throat, croaking out his request. “L-Lissa?”

“Laslow-”

“On it!” He heard someone’s feet beat out a rhythm, fleeing out of the room with more agility than anyone who recently woke up. Then again, he knew Inigo never quite fell asleep when the sun went down. Usually, he snuck out to the forest near the camps they set up, and he pretended  _ nobody  _ snuck out to watch him dance at night. It helped liven spirits in its own way, much like Olivia once did.

He could feel Severa struggling to find the words. Her breath was hot on his neck as she cuddled up next to him, her fear palpable. Every once and awhile, the beginnings of a word squeaked out of her mouth. Then, she sealed her lips definitively and let it go. 

If he closed his eyes, he could transport himself back in time. They used to share cots or just spaces on the floor together all the time. It conserved warmth and, impossibly, someone’s company scared away any bad dreams. So, with his eyes closed, he could dream up the brisk air of a forest in Ylisse. He could pretend the hair tangling around his bare skin was brown rather than red. He could pretend they both were still teenagers, struggling to keep their heads above the water. 

Since she never had a way with words, he cleared his throat. Hot tears swelled in his eyes, and they started streaking down his cheeks. Closing his eyes, Owain pressed his cheek against the blanket. “Distract me. Talk about home… Talk about the way we won the war against Grima.”

“I don’t like that name,” Severa mumbled absently. She paused, adjusting her arm draped across his hips. In some ways, Severa tightened her grip to make sure he couldn’t flee from her. “Hate it less than Robin, ironically. Every time that bastard walked past us in the past, in our  _ new  _ timeline, I wanted to just punch him in his stupid face. I don’t know how anyone ever forgave him.”

“We met Robin… In the past?”

“I was told Inigo pretty much flipped his shit. I didn’t get to see it though…” She sighed. “I spent months trying to get my mom’s wedding ring back. It’s like… I expected everything to be all bright and sunshine-y. It’s, like, if a dragon isn’t threatening the fate of the  _ world,  _ I figured everyone would be on their best behavior. Instead, though, some people are still creeps.”

“Do you still have it?”

Severa twisted and held her hand out. The moonlight caught the ring, sending the simple band’s light reflecting into his face. Then, he noted another ring around her middle finger. Words were engraved on it.

Owain reached out, his fingers slotting in the gaps of her hand. “Are you married now? I missed a lot-”

“It was for Luci. I was going to propose with it… I knew nobody could use their parents’ rings. After all, some of our parents were  _ practically  _ our age. Your mom? A little squirt, and you could never ask someone to marry you with her ring. It just felt like… Stealing. And I’m not stealing from my mom.” Severa snorted derisively. “I bet my mom would have proposed better than I do. She landed a fucking spouse.”

“You could rewrite the world if you chose to. The fabric of time bent at your very will when you urged it to. Even now, as the words struggle to find their way, you spread a light with your movements. You could bring the sun.” Owain doesn’t know what happened between his cousin and Severa. He doesn’t know why they didn’t end up together… He always thought the future rested on their shoulders. 

The words came softly, a confession. “When they asked us to come here, we fought worse than we ever did. She… She was done being a hero. She wanted to be a fucking princess. And gawds was she acting like one. And I… I don’t know why I couldn’t say no. I’m sick of fighting. I’m sick of trying so hard when you don’t know you’ll ever win.”

“We won the war against Grima-”

“Our parents are  _ dead.”  _ She let out a breathless, almost hysterical laugh. Severa trembled behind him before slipping away from him. “Is that really winning?”

“It was the best show we could have put on.” 

Owain sat straight up, staring at Inigo frantically. His friend offered a tight smile before tossing the small bit of the staff through the air. Owain immediately closed his hand around it, bringing the fragment close to his heart. It was all he left of his mom. Well, that and everything inside him. He didn’t dare bring these small facts up to the group because it felt like he was  _ trying  _ too hard. But every time he found himself picking a lock, he felt Gaius’ ghost over his shoulder. Every time he struggled to force healing magic to the surface, he knew Lissa stood only a few feet away, observing.

Inigo slumped against the door. “Nightmare?”

“Terrors through the phantom realm come violently, biting their teeth in my flesh.” Owain then nodded ever so slightly. He didn’t want to discuss the details, even though he was certain they all knew exactly what plagued him. The fact neither of them had nightmares might have been the most surprising part of the night.

Then, Inigo’s voice drifted strangely. “I know you’re scared because you don’t remember everything… But I think I’d give up a lot just not to remember for a  _ day.” _

-

The sorceress with the face of a girl,  _ Nyx  _ as Niles greeted her, grabbed the knife and sliced it across his forearm without wasting a second. Owain bit down on his tongue to stop from screaming. Niles and Leo both sat up straight, concern and protectiveness shining in their eyes. Niles reached for the concoction immediately, but the sorceress threw up her hand. 

“I have done this for what feels like a millennium. Rest assure, I know what I’m doing.” She tightened her grip on his arm, and hot pain flooded his skin. Owain turned his head away and gritted his teeth. While he saw blood magic performed before, nobody ever felt the need to slice  _ him  _ up.

Owain cleared his throat. “A millennium? Yet, you possess the face of a babe. What dark secrets do you hide behind this calm facade of youth? Some say youth hold the highest potential for evil.”

“I can barely tell he lost his memory. I feel old just repeating these conversations over and over again.” Nyx’s eyes flit to Niles. A smile slowly twisted on her face. “I suppose he has the opposite issue of me… A teenager trapped in the body of a man. Tell me, have you been polite near him?”

“You concerned for the baby’s virginity?” Niles asked idly. Suddenly, he sat up completely straight and met Owain’s eyes. “When did you lose it?”

“I… Don’t see how that’s relevant,” muttered Owain. His ability to maintain eye contact faded right as his cheeks flooded with heat. 

Leo gave Niles a dirty look. “Be kind-”

“I can give you a quick lesson in sexual education… If you need.” Leaning forward, Niles placed his hand on Owain’s knee. He subtly scooted back. He didn’t have to be genius to know they must have been close before… But he also didn’t have to be a genius to know Niles’ relationship wasn’t with  _ Owain.  _ It was with whoever Odin was.

Carefully, Nyx began to gather his blood into a vial. Another one already sat on her desk, neatly labelled  _ LEO.  _ She must have been planning to create the antidote with a combination of both of their blood.

Then, Owain remembered Inigo’s words. “This spell… It will bring back all of the battles long since forgotten?”

“By erasing the hold the curse has on you right now, you should regain everything, yes.” Nyx paused, and her eyes found his. The maturity written on her features surprised him. She was more similar to Nah than Nowi ultimately. Nah would be cursed with the face of a child for a long time, but she struggled to act as one of the most mature out of all of them. Then again, everyone knew she could never catch up to Lucina.

He dropped her gaze and stared at the tips of his shoes. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that. The burden of memory weighs heavier on soldiers of the past. They trod a path most regret. Lining the side of the road is an abundance of displaced soil and stones holding two little dates separated only by a line. Even if they do not hold your heart or your connection, the enemies who fell by your blade hold their own families.”

“You… You don’t know if you want your memory back?” Leo said. Something crackled in his tone even if he didn’t voice the threats on the tip of his voice. He pushed to his feet. “So these past five years are easily forgotten for the ease of your mind? You’d give it all everything you know about us?”

“Lord Leo…” Niles reached out, grabbing Leo’s hand.

Just as quickly, Leo ripped his hand free. “Don’t. If Odin has such a  _ tough  _ choice to make, maybe he should do it alone. Maybe I shouldn’t have spent days seeking out the answer to your memory loss, even before you regained  _ half  _ of it.”

Owain watched, jaw dropped, as Leo stormed out of the tent. Somehow, it felt as if he lost something, even if he only recently met Leo. Then, he dropped his head and focused on something he could actually fix.

“The blood of legends pulses out of the cut, and I lack the resources to contain it. For it to contaminate the Earth is a risk I dare not take,” he muttered under his breath. He focused on the red staining the skin around the forearm rather than the way his heart ached for someone he barely knew. 

Inigo said he’d trade anything not to remember… Why shouldn’t he celebrate the fact he didn’t remember the rest of the hard-won battles? He knew, more than anything, winning the war didn’t mean they really won. Even if they travelled back in time, it would never erase the fact he saw his parents die in front of him… One after the other.

-

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re upset about something.” 

Owain looked away from where he struck the dummy with the blade. Right before he left, he managed to steal Severa’s sword straight out of her room. When he suggested that he might want one of his own, whoever ran the store gave him a suspicious look and suggested they call for Leo. Owain left after that… The last thing he wanted was to ask a favor from the man who wanted him so desperately to be Odin the dark mage.

But, Owain forgot Odin. Who was to say Odin hadn’t forgotten Owain?

Inigo stood, watching him idly. Before Owain could greet him enthusiastically, making up excitement for the sake of the show, he cleared his throat and drew his sword. “I think I’d be a better match for you than the dummy. Obviously, it isn’t putting up a good enough fight for you.”

“A duel? It has been long since we’ve had a moment to spare to battle each other’s demons. I must warn you, you probably have forgotten some of the ancient arts bestowed upon me.” Owain smiled deviously as he hooked one arm behind his back. They always duelled with a handicap to make it interesting, and his sword hand ached for a  _ legitimate  _ fight. It had been a long time since his blood roared in a happy way rather than with a panic to save the surrounding citizens from the Risen.

Inigo leapt in front of him, spinning on his heel before pointing his blade outwards. His chin lifted slightly, and a confident smile appeared on his face. “I think you have forgotten the power of Inigo of the Indigo Skies as well as everything else.”

“You’re definitely flashier. Will your flash cover for your lack of substance?” Owain charged forward, and they started duelling just like they always did. However, the longer he swung his sword around to strike and block, he realized a certain ache building in his arms. He was…

He was  _ out of practice. _

At some points during their duel, he could tell that Inigo was messing with him. He would back up and give Owain a few seconds to catch his breath. He chose to do an impractical move which allowed Owain to regain his balance instead of going in for the kill. Whatever reason Inigo had for this duel, he hadn’t challenged him for practice and he hadn’t challenged him to win. Owain could have lost within the first thirty seconds if Inigo didn’t insist on drawing it out. 

Finally, Owain sunk to his knees, panting. “Inigo of the Indigo Skies, you fight well for your name. It is as if the very nature of the air is with you. You need not breathe when you fight, you move as if gravity can lay no finger on you.”

“And you fight as if you chose to be a dark mage.” Inigo crouched down in front of Owain, something coloring his expression. “You told Leo you didn’t want to remember?”

“You said you didn’t either!” Owain protested.

Inigo hesitated. “Yes, but… I don’t have the option. If you don’t remember, you have no reason to stay here. Do you… Do you wish to return home?”

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing. I haven’t been able to see my mother in many years. While it may not feel like much for you, the last I saw her, there was no light in her eyes. It’s much harder to leave a dead woman than a living one.” Pausing, he mused over the truth behind his words. Could he really say that… And  _ believe  _ it? “Well, I suppose my version of my mother will always be in a grave.”

“Ylisse is where you want to go? I figured.” With a sigh, his friend got to his feet and retrieved a satchel near the front of the training yard. He pulled it to his chest before pulling out a glittering sphere. 

Owain squinted. “What magic relic do you possess, friend?”

“This is the way home to Ylisse.” Inigo held up the orb, but there was something different in his eyes. For the first time, he couldn’t find his friend in the older man. For the first time, it was truly Owain against Laslow, not Inigo. For the first time, Inigo forewent the shy uncertainty and truly looked comfortable in his own skin.

Owain stared at him. “Which Ylisse?”

“Whichever one you want. But if you go, Owain, you’ll never remember what you’re missing out on. I promised you once that we wouldn’t go anywhere… But if you go somewhere, I can’t promise I’ll follow you there. We made a life here… All  _ three  _ of us.” Tossing the orb, it spun and reflected the light every which way… But at Owain.

When he caught it, his hand completely blocked out the sun. He studied it for a few seconds before lifting his head to speak with Laslow. But Laslow had left silently, not saying a single word. 

Not even  _ goodbye. _

-

For the first time, Owain was alone with nothing but his own thoughts. He couldn’t go back to the chambers built into the tree. First of all, he couldn’t dream to find his own rooms in the same. He never once asked his two friends where they were. He just assumed he’d be able to stay with them… And while he could seek out Severa, he was sure she already heard the news from Inigo-  _ Laslow _ .

He sat in the backroom of one of the stores instead. Judging by the excessive amount of bows, he’d guess some sort of armory. With his knees drawn up to his chest, he could spend every second scrutinizing the way back home in his lap. Laslow didn’t offer instructions. Did he just crush it and think about the place he wanted to go? If he wanted back to what he actually  _ remembered,  _ he knew he wouldn’t find anything but death and destruction there. He didn’t even remember the Ylisse he wanted to reach.

Instead, his mind kept circling back to the way Leo’s face fell when he said he might not want the cure. He kept thinking about the quick way Laslow offered a way back home and disappeared. Somehow, Owain managed to upset people of the past  _ and  _ future. These were bonds he wasn’t supposed to break.

People kept hinting at how he lost his memory. Judging by the pitying looks everyone gave him, nobody really  _ wanted  _ to say it outright. He lost his memory because he sacrificed himself. The fact Severa hadn’t reamed him for that was surprising.

Maybe she already had, and he’d forgotten.

Dear Naga, this was harder than he could have imagined. He thought being alone would provide the clarity he needed. Either he stuck it out here and got his memory back, or he travelled back home and took his chances there. He supposed, though, he still lacked many years there too. They’d be more lenient, he imagined. They’d let him slip up more. Brady would stop at nothing to cure him, and Noire would give him some charm to help him feel better, and Cynthia would hug him until his doubts faded away-

But as much as he needed Cynthia and Brady, he needed Inigo and Severa. No picture felt complete without those two. 

Owain needed to make a decision. He needed-

The second he pushed to his feet to start pacing, something cold crawled up and down his spine. He braced himself on the counter and tried to catch his breath. Blue started itching across his vision like frost… But the edges of the frost sparked strangely. Dimly, something inside him thought  _ lightning.  _ Didn’t Leo say something about lightning?

His legs buckled beneath him, and his head clipped the edge of the counter. He moaned as soon as he felt a warm trickle of blood crawling down his scalp. Blindly, Owain groped at the injury to apply force. His whole body trembled from the cold weight settling on his chest. 

Just out of reach, the orb rolled before hitting the wall. It stilled, and he almost thought he could see home in its reflection. He squinted to see beyond the blue, beyond the electricity, but the cold pierced through his soul and attacked straight at his heart. Owain was many things, but he knew he was mostly heart.

Before he could find comfort in the orb, everything went numb.

-

Odin shifted in bed, eyes slowly fluttering open. Someone clutched his hand, tracing idle circles with their thumb. A dim throbbing radiated from his head, but he found it was easy enough to ignore. A nice fog seemed to have settled over him, and he couldn’t recall exactly what landed him in this sick bed. However, the hand in his was warm, and the blankets were cool against his skin.

He made a sound of contentment as he nestled deeper into the bed. Whoever held his head reacted instantly, squeezing a little harder than they should have. However, the tingly numbness crawling through his veins kept him from feeling any more than a gentle tap. He hovered in the space between sleep and consciousness, and he didn’t feel the need to pick a side either way.

“Odin?” ventured Niles. There was something in his tone he couldn’t identify. 

A sleepy smile spread from cheek to cheek. “Hi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaand Odin's back! However, in case you missed it, Owain made some HUGE mistakes. He definitely damaged his relationship with Leo (though he was being extra about Laslow, they will never NOT be buds), he only happened to expose SEVERA'S real name last chapter and he's been isolated so he hasn't seen THOSE consequences, and whoever found him in the storeroom also found the orb because he definitely doesn't have it now.


	3. Sum of Your Parts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we DID it!!! I made it completely through this, and let me just tell you, I absolutely loved it. It started off as a small drabble like, what if amnesia ran in the family? the first idea was directed at laslow, but odin just came in and stole the show. So, I hope you enjoy!!!

While Odin could do without the bandage tightly wrapped around his forehead, he really thought the cane was badass. With every step he took, he flashed the sable covering and the gemstones embedded into the wood. The kind of finery could be expected from a member of the royal family. However, Xander gifted it to him shortly after Elise said he wouldn’t be able to walk unassisted. He  _ suspected  _ Laslow had something to do with it. 

“If you keep walking so ridiculously, you’re going to fall over,” Niles scoffed. Every few steps, he’d pause and wait for Odin to catch up. Odin grit his teeth and tried to hobble along a little faster. He did his best to ignore the tightness in his chest and the spots beginning to dance across his vision. “Do you need a break?”

“Odin Dark doesn’t  _ take  _ breaks,” he muttered beneath his breath. “Time bends to his will. Should he need a reprieve from this menial exercise, he shall request it. All clocks will grind to a stop, and no movement will be detected.  _ Then,  _ he will continue and time will start back up.”

“As much fun as  _ bending to your will  _ sounds, doctor’s orders. Lady Elise said you should stop every time we come across a bench.” Niles placed a hand on Odin’s shoulder and steered him towards the slab of stone. Odin gave him a  _ long  _ glare before collapsing down on top of the bench.

Somehow, his face ended up pressed into his hands. The cane leant against his legs. “And what did Lord Leo say? He is the one with the power to order me around.”

“In the bedroom or-”

“What did I say that offended him  _ so much?”  _ Odin peeked at Niles between his fingers. When Niles visibly made a face at the words, he nodded. “I knew it. Whatever foul thing I may have said under the influence of such a vile spell, I apologize for. However, I cannot dictate the apology to my lord without seeing him.”

“Let it go.” His lover reached out, snagging Odin’s cane from him. Idly, he began to spin it nimbly with the turn of his wrist. 

Odin waited a few seconds before muttering a wind spell beneath his breath. It was a small one, too small to require a tome and barely effective enough to do anything. However, he managed to dislodge the cane from Niles, and his cane went skittering across the grass in front of them. 

Niles lifted an eyebrow. “Was there a reason for that, or are you just being petty?”

“Just let it go,” Odin parroted back, even changing his voice to suit Niles’ deeper tones better. Then, he nodded slightly. “If the only way to speak with Leo is by trickery, then that is what I shall do. Go fetch me some water… And I shall retrieve my cane.”

“You’re joking.” Niles’ eyes wandered to where Odin rested his own gaze. Leo strode, arguing quietly with the Hoshidan prince. He  _ knew  _ Leo wouldn’t leave him to struggle on his own. Gently, Odin nudged Niles towards the mess hall before getting to his feet shakily.

In some ways, he absolutely  _ hated  _ the way he needed to hobble around. Elise stated blood magic left everyone weak, and at the very least, he regained his memory. Odin threw on a smile Laslow would have been proud of, and he ignored the way his skin  _ crawled  _ at the idea of using a cane for a week. He couldn’t ride out to battle, and he couldn’t be helpful. Odin was absolute, complete dead weight.

Still, as he limped horribly to his fallen cane, he knew he’d collapse when he bent over. He threw out his hands to keep from falling over. One hand rested gently on the hilt of the cane, and the other slid about in the grass. 

Pulling his cane to his chest, Odin struggled to look as piteous as possible. When nobody came to his aid, he grumbled and pushed to his feet by his own ability. His legs threatened to buckle once more. Beads of sweat began to collect in his hairline, no matter how greatly he gulped down air. 

“Odin, I believe you’re not supposed to be out unassisted.”

“Oh! But my great ally seems to have disappeared unexpectedly, leaving me completely unguarded! If only someone could help me to the Hot Springs.” Odin beamed widely at Leo, making his stance wider to make it easier to stand straight. 

Leo inspected him for a few seconds. Then, he shook his head ever so slightly. “I imagine Niles will be making his way back to you after you sent him off on his fool’s errand. I’m not sure I wish to be alone with…  _ Odin  _ currently.”

“Leo…” Odin swallowed hard before nodding resolutely. “So be it! If the whims of fate wish for us to part, then we shall part. However, I will never stop yearning for your presence by my side. I will never stop wishing for you to join me as we carve our paths through lives. Whether our paths remain different or reunite, I will accept your choice.”

Leo hesitated, words on the tip of his tongue. Then, he shook his head slightly and returned to his conversation to Takumi. To his credit, the Hoshidan prince sent a sympathetic look over his shoulder.

Odin limped back to the bench and plopped down, waiting for the return of Niles.

-

“I wanted a cooler scar,” Odin announced, adjusting his position in the Hot Springs. The smoke billowed up and around his face, and every once and awhile, he’d have to blink to refocus on the faces across from him. The Nohrian  _ male  _ retainers all received the same time to bathe, so his captive audience for tonight was Arthur, Laslow, and Niles.

Laslow let out a soft laugh. “Odin, my dear, I believe you have  _ enough  _ miscellaneous scars. One more won’t complete the collection.”

“Ah, but they don’t tell good stories.” He shifted to splash in Laslow’s direction. His friend spluttered and spat out the water, and Odin couldn’t stop himself from smiling to himself. “Share your best story from a scar. I imagine Niles must be the eyepatch.”

“I don’t have many good scars!” Arthur declared. “Many of mine come from tumbling and accidents.”

“You remind me of Felicia,” Laslow commented. His eyes swept over to Odin, and he winked ever so slightly. Odin nodded to confirm. Arthur’s clumsiness reminded him more of Sumia and Cynthia. Gods, if he dwelled too much on his cousin, he always felt a telltale stab at his heart. He wanted to go home, but at the same time, he made a home here.

Odin knew what it meant. He’d never feel  _ completely  _ at home anywhere. He hated the idea of never introducing his boyfriends to his parents, but to get to his parents, he couldn’t have boyfriends. It was a problem he wasn’t sure he could ever solve  _ happily.  _ But sometimes, you’re not one hundred percent happy. 

Arthur nodded sagely. “Together, mishaps are bound to happen.”

“Or, one of you could learn to walk.” Niles rolled his eye. Odin would never understand how it remained surprisingly effective. 

It took a few seconds to realize why Arthur suddenly started looking around uncomfortably. Even Niles hesitated before shrugging. Laslow made eye contact with Odin. 

Then, he broke out laughing. It took a few seconds to collect himself, and when he did, he swatted a huge wave of water over at Odin. Odin suddenly figured out why people dreaded bathing in the same time slot as the two of them. “Yeah,  _ Odin.  _ If only  _ some people  _ could figure out how to walk.”

“I figured out how to walk. Have you figured out how to flirt with a girl yet?” He made his eyes as wide and innocent as possible.

Nonetheless, Laslow clutched at his heart. “I don’t flirt with  _ girls.  _ I only flirt with women.”

“Nah,” he said instantly. Laslow’s face shifted slightly, and he could  _ read  _ the offense across his face. For the first time, he thanked Nowi for giving her daughter an unnecessarily complicated name. Their relationship was always all kinds of weird, but Inigo got disgustingly invested… Like usual. 

He made a face. “Coming from someone who’s never attracted a woman in his life.”

“He doesn’t need women in his life. He has someone more  _ capable,”  _ Niles interjected before suddenly looking sly. “Would you like me to demonstrate?”

“Nope!” Laslow’s face burned red.

Arthur immediately flung himself out of the Hot Springs and carefully walked out of the tent. Odin had a feeling he would have sprinted out if it didn’t guarantee instant death by falling in. “Lady Elise is calling me! Look at the time!”

“Three… Two… One…” Niles grinned as he hit one. Immediately, they all heard Arthur stumble and trip. “I bet his shorts ripped off, and he’s flashing his dick at everyone around… And I bet it’s Elise and Effie around.”

“Not Effie…  _ Selena.  _ That’d be worse luck,” Odin noted. 

Niles glanced over at him. “You mean  _ Severa.” _

“What the fuck?” Laslow immediately blurted. When Niles looked at him, he slapped a hand over his mouth and glared at Odin pointedly. 

Odin threw up his hands. “I don’t remember  _ anything  _ from the past two weeks. Remember? Memory curse?”

“You can’t just…” Laslow scrubbed a hand over his face. “Niles, are you going to tell anyone?”

“Do you know  _ anything  _ about my past? Do you even know how I lost my eye?” He cocked an eyebrow. When Laslow shook his head mutely, he grinned. “I can keep this secret, but if you’d like to level the playing ground…”

“Selena’s already going to murder me… Probably Odin first, but me next. And I’m not doing that.” His old friend closed conversation resolutely before clearing his throat. “You asked about coolest scar forever ago! Still curious?”

-

Odin laid in the grass, staring at the stars. Usually, he’d attempt to make it up to his chambers in the tree, but this time, he couldn’t work up the energy to do it. He spent the last three hours getting poked and prodded by the healers. While he adored Elise, he couldn’t help but long for his own mother. 

He barely shifted his head when he heard a pair of boots stomping near him. “My dear Selena! Would you like to partake in a venture through the stars? Each tells its own story, and soon, our own shall be immortalized amongst them. Only by knowing our future company can we truly belong in the sky.”

“I know  _ enough  _ about the stars.” She sniffed derisively. 

Odin nodded. “The skies above you must be different than my own then.”

Selena paused, debating whether to yell at him. The first night after escaping Anankos’ army, the three of them spent the night under the stars. They couldn’t find any of the same constellations hovering above Ylisse. Each one had a completely different story, a different origin. While Odin never spent too much time studying the stars back home, it would have been nice to keep even that small bit of familiarity.

“I feel like I’m interrupting something. Are you sure you need me?” Selena’s companion asked dryly.

Immediately, he sat up straight and looked over at her. She shrugged, unable to hide her shit-eating smile. Keaton offered a cheerful wave… Well, as best as he could. One of his arms was thoroughly trapped beneath Selena’s, forcing him to stay nearby. 

He nodded sagely at the pair. “Have you come to announce your engagement-”

“Shut up!” Selena shouted immediately, face burning.

Keaton gaped at him. “Do you think I’d waste a ring on someone who wouldn’t even  _ appreciate  _ it? I tried to show her my bug collection the other day.”

“Bugs are  _ gross.” _

“You should show Laslow… His passion for bugs is almost overwhelming.” Odin winked at Selena, who rolled her eyes. Laslow might murder him later if Keaton cornered him with his latest catch, but it’d be worth it. Of all things for Laslow to be scared of, nobody really anticipated bugs.

Selena suddenly cleared her throat. “We’re off topic! Gawds, why do you always have to do that? Maybe I don’t want to listen to your annoying monologues!”

“I-”

“I  _ just  _ said I didn’t want you to talk. Shut up.” She took a second to calm herself. Then, Selena offered a saccharine smile and dug her elbow into Keaton’s ribs. He flinched at the impact. “Keaton has this  _ kickass  _ collection of found objects, and he found something incredible!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I’m not showing my goods to your sick friend! He’ll infect it!” Keaton nudged her aside, and he wrinkled his nose as he looked at Odin.

Odin paused before sniffing at himself. “My… Sickness?”

Selena stared at him. “You’re an idiot. You’re not a  _ wolfskin!  _ You can’t smell it! And you stop smelling my friend; it’s creepy!”

“Stop having such smelly friends, and this wouldn’t be such a problem.” Keaton offered her a toothy smile. 

She gritted her teeth before nodding down at Odin’s side. He laid the cane in the grass beside him, and the second Keaton noticed it, his face completely lit up. “I think Odin would trade you.”

“Selena, I kinda need this to walk…” Odin’s voice trailed off as he noted the furious set of Selena’s face. He shut his mouth, and he glanced over at Keaton. “Uh, what am I trading you for?”

“Oh! I found this in the staff store when I went to start up my shift!” Keaton eagerly pulled out… 

_ His orb. _

Odin felt his eyes bulge and his jaw drop, and Selena nodded fervently. When did he lose that?  _ How  _ did he lose that? He knew better to ever take it out of his chambers. Unless… Oh,  _ shit.  _ Maybe he was trying to get home to Ylisse when he lost some of his memories? That’d explain why Leo was upset with him. 

“Look how shiny this cane is! It captures the sun and moonlight alike! Should you twist it either way, the light catches and fractures every which way. Observe!” Odin fumbled with the hilt of the cane, twisting it to show up the reflections. Keaton observed with wide eyes, and Odin knew he was doing  _ well. _

Then, Keaton shook his head. “Not good enough! This thingie does that too! And nobody else even knows what it is!”

“It’s lame, and it’s stupid. You should just give it to Odin,” Selena started to say, but Keaton shook his head quickly. Then, he glanced at her and pressed a kiss against her cheek. While Selena spluttered, he cheerfully charged away, probably to go show off his newfound object.

Odin looked at her. “What are we going to do?”

“We’re… Going to find something even  _ shinier  _ to impress him.” Selena nodded resolutely. “Maybe we can trade Laslow’s dancer shit. That’s all gold and twinkly.”

“He got that from Olivia though. Would he really be willing to part with it?” Odin chewed on his bottom lip. Would it be worth it? Trading what little they had left from Ylisse just to guarantee the way home? He couldn’t just let Keaton walk away with it though. 

Selena groaned. “I guess… I’ll go beg Lady Camilla. She probably has something good that she’s willing to part with. Laslow can go ask Xander…  _ You  _ will have to talk to Leo. Otherwise, you’re all kinds of fucked.”

-

Usually, Odin let the horses act as the pack mules. Today, he would have to suffice. He shoved his cane into a sword sheath, tucked his tome under his arm, and used a chair to help him walk on the way to the training yard. He already had to catch himself by slamming it against the ground several times. Yet, the last thing he wanted to do was ask for help. He wasn’t usually stubborn, but after two days of being doted on like he was about to break, he needed some peace of mind. 

Besides, he  _ needed  _ to practice his magic. He had a feeling his ‘Owain-phase’, as Selena blithely titled it, didn’t use any of his tomes. As Owain, he probably wanted to feed the hunger of his sword hand. If Odin dwelled on it for too long, the same hunger overtook him… But considering he struggled to even  _ walk  _ at the current moment, he imagined swordplay wouldn’t be the easiest option.

“I thought Elise gave you instructions to rest.” Leo’s voice drifted over his shoulder.

Odin huffed one last breath before settling the chair into the grass. He braced himself against the back, panting heavily. “Evil never rests, so the goodness of the people cannot rest either! We must always be building up our defenses to fend off those attacks! We must always be able to fight the war no matter the injuries our bodies sustain, for our souls do not hold such wounds!”

“I have faith taking a week off practice won’t change much for you.” Leo paused and sighed. With a careful, meticulous stride, he forced Odin around to sit on the chair. Then, he crouched before him in the dirt.

If Niles was here to see Leo kneel, he knew he would have some  _ select  _ phrases come to mind. Instead, Odin felt his cheeks go pink and looked away. “A week off practice will bring rust to my skills, and rust cannot cut as deeply as a sharp blade.”

“If you sharpen a blade too much, it becomes useless and snaps.” Leo grabbed his forearm and shoved up Odin’s long sleeve. He winced when he spotted the mottled pattern on his skin. Blood poisoning from dark magic was apparently common. Yet, every time he saw the dark red spots sprawled across his skin, he wanted to try and heal them away with his limited knowledge Lissa gave him. Luckily, his typical outfit managed to keep those thoughts out of mind.

Then, Leo prodded at a spot. “Until  _ these  _ go away, you will not be on the training yard. I will not lose you to your own stubbornness when I almost-” He cut himself off and pressed his lips together resolutely.

Odin stared at him. “You never had the danger of losing me, Lord Leo. I wouldn’t leave you-”

“I  _ did  _ lose you. Even if you were right there, I lost you.” A fire burned in Leo’s dark eyes, glowing brighter than anything else. He pushed to his feet and started to storm away. 

Something protested in Odin instantly. He cried out briefly before biting down on his lip. Words told stories, words made the world more colorful. Leo, though, spent his childhood surrounded by words. He knew how to dodge the ones he didn’t need. 

He grabbed the tome and focused on a patch of grass in front of Leo.  _ “Thoron.” _

The lightning ripped from his hands and raced to the spot. The second it struck, the noise rung out, piercing and painful. It was almost metallic, and something inside him froze and wanted to run. His raging blood fell still. All he could think of was jumping in front of Leo, the convulsions as lightning raced through him, and the pain radiating and setting every one of his nerves aflame.

Then, Odin tightened his grip and thrust himself back into the present. If he freaked out over every time he got injured, he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. Sure, when he first woke up and realized he lost two weeks, he wanted to go hunt down the answers and rip them out of anyone he could find. But, the  _ pain  _ kept him in the bed. And now, being a grown up at  _ war  _ kept him in the chair.

“Odin, what the hell are you doing?” Leo had stopped in front of the newly charred ground. His hands slowly clenched into fists, and his shoulders seemed to tremble under an invisible weight. Yet, Leo still hadn’t turned to see him.

Odin’s voice came out, thin at first and then growing. “I don’t know. But I cannot follow you at such a pace, and no good retainer allows his liege to brave these nights alone. Give me a chance to catch up and-”

“You said you’d give me space. You said you respected my decision. What changed?” Leo  _ refused  _ to look at him. 

Staggering to his feet, he fumbled at his cane. Before Odin could truly commit, he paused and stared at his lover’s back. “What was the decision? What crime did I commit against you? What basis of our relationship did I spoil?”

“Ask Niles-”

“Niles would ask me to ask you, and I am tired of a messenger flitting between the two of us. We can discuss whatever the matter is. Whatever time and space you need, I will gladly provide, but I feel as if I  _ need  _ to make up for whatever I did! I can’t apologize! I can’t atone! Let me!” Odin took a cautious step.

Leo whirled around, and the fire drowned in the currents of tears. “You didn’t want to remember me! You didn’t want to remember  _ us!  _ You were willing to get rid of everything you’ve ever known just to… To stay some child we never knew!”

“I…” Odin hesitated. “I didn’t know…”

“When you remembered nothing, you still sought us out. We still… We still became one, the three of us. It didn’t matter who you were stripped down. You still loved us.” Taking a breath, Odin could  _ feel  _ the beginnings of a sob. Then, he bit down on it, and Leo forged onwards. “And then, you had a seizure on the floor  _ next to our bed.” _

Odin didn’t know that either. Suddenly, the way Niles hovered next to his bed made sense. Last night, he woke up to find Niles crouched in the armchair beside the bed rather than curled up next to him. He had groped out blindly to try and hold Niles’ hand. When Niles jostled into consciousness, this light he never saw before entered Niles’ eyes. He acted as if he’d break anything in his way to get to Odin. Then, he softened, and Odin pulled him under the covers with him. 

“When you woke up, you were going to run us through. I don’t even  _ know  _ what you were thinking about. But the only person who managed to talk you off that ledge was Selena…  _ Severa.  _ Whatever darkness you have in your past made you willing to kill two men with no questions asked.” He sighed. “I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“I wouldn’t have killed you,” Odin said instantly. Selena and Laslow both told him who he was, when he woke up as Owain. As Owain, all he could remember was the mission to go rescue Morgan. He couldn’t remember what they discovered with Morgan then… On the mission to save Morgan, he first thought about killing a living, breathing human being opposed to the Risen. 

And it was Robin. 

Leo stared at him. “You don’t know how you looked. You don’t know how  _ wild  _ you looked. I’ve seen men at war, and I’ve seen you at war, but you looked like a ghost.”

“I… I wouldn’t have. I  _ know  _ that.” Odin stared at him solemnly, free of the flowery speech and the theatrics. “And I was young… I was  _ fifteen.” _

“What’s so bad at fifteen?”

“With a father like King Garon, I imagine you could make a guess.” Odin left it at that though. Leo wrinkled his nose before pausing, conflicted. 

Then, Leo sighed. “You have me there. Odin, just… Who are you?”

“Someone who loves you.” Odin paused. “That’s all I can give you for now.”

“I once thought that was enough. Now… I’m not sure.”

-

Against all odds, he managed to convince Laslow and Selena to go out drinking with him. Corrin agreed to rent out the mess hall for them… As long as they could bring their many, many suitors. Odin didn’t have it in him to refuse. If he looked over his shoulder too long, he found Corrin flirting with Felicia, Flora, Jakob, and Silas alike.

Then again, who was Odin to judge?

Laslow kept casting mournful glances over there, nursing his beer. “Do you think I can flirt with Felicia? I-”

“She would shut you down before you even got a word out.” Selena paused, a smile twisting onto her face. An ugly snort exploded out of her before she clapped a hand over her face. “She would spill her fucking  _ drink  _ on you! Salt in the wound!”

“I forgot you had a snort laugh,” Odin said after a moment.

Both of them froze, turning to stare at him. She slowly pointed a finger at him, mildly horrified. “Who gave you permission to talk about that?”

“I’ve just been thinking about the past. And you used to have that laugh before you tried to refine it to be more  _ ladylike  _ like your mom.” Whether or not it worked was up to the audience. He, personally, couldn’t think it worked. She replaced the odd snorts with the loud  _ guffaws,  _ and she still did the offended little sniff when he ticked her off. 

Waiting a second, Selena suddenly leaned across the bar and flicked his forehead. “We’re not here to talk about her!”

“Yeah, Odin. Selena’s mom is a touchy subject.” The smirk across Laslow’s face instantly alerted Odin to where he was heading in conversation. He shifted forward, and he said in a loud stage whisper. “So Hinoka and Subaki seem to be getting  _ awfully  _ close. If they had a child together, do you know who I think they’d look like? I mean, with two  _ redhead pegasi knights  _ as parents-”

“You and Azura seem to be getting close! And she definitely reminds me of someone!” shouts Selena over the tail end of the sentence. Laslow gawked before trying to reign it in. Odin just laughed.

Then, he grabbed the bottle of vodka and splashed it into the shot glasses. All three of them reached in and grabbed them at once, clinking them together. Even when they were arguing, there was this strange sort of camaraderie. He wanted to go to the ends of the earth for the two of them. In a way, he was thankful  _ he  _ lost his memory. He couldn’t deal with Laslow unable to figure out their names or Selena stomping around like the mourning, angry teenager. 

Laslow groaned. “You’re such a mopey drunk. Why did we agree to come out with you?”

“He isn’t a good drinking partner. Do you know who is?” Selena glanced over the rim of her shot glass, about to pound it back. A sly smile crossed her face. “Camilla.”

“You’ve  _ drank  _ with the princess?” Laslow’s voice came out a little too high, and his face immediately flushed red. Corrin stared at them for a few seconds before shrugging and returning to whatever conversation they had with Silas.

Selena smiled. “Haven’t you drank with your liege?”

_ “No,”  _ Laslow said in the same moment Odin nodded. He stared at Odin for a few seconds before groaning. “You’re bad people. You can’t do that! They’re… They’re  _ royalty!” _

To that, Odin only raised an eyebrow and casually brushed off his upper arm where the Brand ought to be. Laslow followed before slamming his face against the bar.  _ “She  _ never did!”

“Actually, she definitely did. One night, when we were younger, we snuck out to the balcony with a bottle of wine. We took turns sharing, but since we were little, we both got completely  _ wasted  _ out there.” Selena laughed a little before pausing. “We’re breaking so many rules discussing this.”

“They aren’t listening. And… And I need a little piece of home,” Odin added. They both made faces at that statement. But, without his orb, he doesn’t exactly feel like he had a definite way home anymore. Even with Laslow and Selena running missions on the side to try and get him what he needed to trade with Keaton, he didn’t know whether it’d be enough.

So, they kept drinking and sharing anecdotes. They never used more than a vague detail. They said ‘him’ or ‘her’ instead of real names. Yet, when he saw the radiant and  _ real  _ smile on Laslow’s face, when he saw the spark in Selena’s eyes fanned not by inferiority but glee, he knew drinking was the best choice.

Then, of course, the royal family came to collect them… Minus Elise. Odin knew they wouldn’t want her to see her middle sibling completely smashed, and she didn’t have a retainer to come collect.

The first one to come over was Camilla. She immediately scooped Selena into a hug, and Selena groaned and tried to push her away. “Hey! You don’t… You don’t need to do that!”

“You look so sweet with your cheeks all red!” Camilla pushed her back somewhat, immediately grabbing at Selena’s flushed face. Selena made a strange yelping noise before swatting at her. 

With a last ditch effort, Selena ducks underneath Camilla’s arm. “I don’t! Stop!”

“We’re just got wind of an invisible army marching. We’ll have to go fend them off tomorrow morning… Think you can sober up?” A smile started to cross Xander’s face, but he squashed it down immediately. 

Staring up at him, Laslow struggled to find the appropriate words. Odin tried to stifle his laughter. If he could, he’d draw this exact expression and send it off to all of their old friends. With big, round eyes and a gaping mouth, Laslow obviously got distracted by Xander’s face, and his cheeks immediately lit up red. “I… Of course, m-milord!”

“Am I going?” Odin directed the question at Leo.

Leo shook his head silently. When he went to duck out of this conversation, he noticed Xander pressing a hand against his back and forcing him closer. “Leo, I’m sure Odin would like a proper explanation for why he cannot come. Laslow, come. I have some quick ways to get alcohol out of your system.”

“Of course!” Laslow stumbled to his feet, almost falling over immediately. Xander subtly wrapped an arm around his waist. Odin lifted an eyebrow, and Laslow stuttered and covered his face in response. 

Camilla placed her hands on Selena’s shoulders and started to steer her over to Corrin. “I’ll go tell Corrin what’s going on. You talk to your boyfriend, Leo.”

“But-”

_ “Talk. To. Your. Boyfriend.”  _ Camilla, after the obvious emphasis she placed on each and every word, offered a saccharine smile and moved on. 

Leo took the seat previously claimed by Laslow. “I’m sure you don’t need an explanation.”

“When am I going to be strong enough to do anything again?” Odin grumbled under his breath. Then, he grabbed the rest of the bottle of vodka and carefully raised it to his mouth. 

Leo snatched it away the second he’s done. “You’re not usually one to drink away their feelings.”

“You don’t know me anyway.” Odin gave a fake smile and pushed to his feet. When Leo seemed to hesitate, guilt started to gnaw at him. “I didn’t mean that. I just…”

“I know what you meant.” Leo nodded at him, and that was that.

-

Niles stared at Odin in shock. He cleared his throat, and his voice came out somewhat thin. “You want to  _ what?” _

“Thievery is an action taken in the dark for the purposes of villainy! This shall just be a trade where the army is away! The orb carries nothing of significance! He wishes to keep it within his possession simply for the gleam of it as the sun strikes it! This cane and this jewelry carry the same effect!” Odin squeezed every word in each breath, trying his hardest to confuse Niles. If Niles knew the true purpose behind the orb, he wasn’t sure how ready he’d be to help him steal it back. 

He blinked… Or winked, Odin supposed. Then, Niles sighed. “Don’t you think you need the cane still? Lady Elise advised a week’s time, and it hasn’t been a week-”

“It’ll be a week in  _ two days.  _ Time has no constraint on my blood or my muscles. I have flourished despite the constraint of minutes eating at my soul!” To prove his point, Odin shoved the cane at Niles and stood on his own two feet. Niles inspected his stance for a long time, waiting for a knee to buckle or for him to pitch forward. 

When he didn’t, Niles sighed. “Fine.”

“Fine? So you will embark on a foray of Keaton’s collectibles?” Odin beamed and eagerly embraced Niles. He made some noise in the back of his throat before gently pushing him back. 

Very few people remained on the base when a battle raged outside their borders. However, Takumi had invited Leo to hang out with him and his retainers that day. With the army’s other archers out and about, Niles volunteered to stay behind and babysit Odin… Or Leo forced him to. Apparently, Mozu the archer would be lingering around the younger princes today.

As they walked, though, he got reminded of all the friends he made since leaving Ylisse. Odin would never call himself popular by any means. He’d definitely be in the solid middle of the pack between Laslow’s vapid flirting for friends and the hostile way Selena treated literally everyone else. However, people smiled and waved at him regardless.

“I see you’re on your feet again. How’s it going, painting thief?” Kagero called from where she sat on the porch of the vacated staff shop. 

Odin beamed. “Only the best can bewitch me and enthrall my attention! Now, I intend to prop the magnificent work of art on the balcony and chant until the silkwrym comes to life! Only when it is tangible, flesh and blood beneath my hands, will I achieve the true epitome of health once more.”

“So it’s a magical silkwrym?” An amused expression flit across Kagero’s face. She glanced down at her hands again, never looking at him too long. The second she spotted the cane, something overtook her, and Kagero made a point to look  _ anywhere  _ else. Reminders of weakness weren’t the way their friendship formed, and it wouldn’t be the way their relationship continued.

He ignored it the best he could. “Naturally.”

They continued to walk to Keaton’s stash. He hid it beside the hunting forest, but Odin already cast out a spell to seek it out. The force of it rang in his head still, a constant pinging alerting him where the orb was. There was a reason he made a spell connecting him to the orb all those years ago when he arrived. Now, he simply needed to follow the tie until it ran out… And then, he’d  _ somewhat  _ steal from someone he somewhat considered a thief.

“Professor Odin!” cooed Charlotte. Odin’s head immediately snapped to her. She sat in the shade of a tree, braiding the hair of a practically unconscious Felicia. She definitely took the effects of her hangover a lot harder than the others. In the end, none of Corrin’s retainers marched off to war. “I missed you these past days!”

“Your beguiling words fail to strike at the core of me! Instead, I imagine a date with another man has left you satisfied in a way our simple conversations cannot!” Odin teased. He knew, from Laslow’s moping, Charlotte scored several dates those two weeks… Or, at the very least, she scored more dates than Laslow’s constant zero. 

She giggled pointedly. “Ah, but I missed you anyway!”

“The great Odin Dark has returned!” He threw out his arms and spun dramatically on his heel. One of his legs trembled under his weight, and Niles quickly and  _ subtly  _ supported him. Odin threw a grateful smile before waving cheerfully at Charlotte and Felicia. 

Niles grabbed Odin’s hand pointedly as they walked. “Thought you didn’t need the cane anymore.”

“Fear not! One misstep does not spell out the end.” However, the longer the words lingered in the air, he wondered who it was for. He was tempted to push at his sleeves to see if the spots had worsened. Last he checked, they had all but faded. If Odin hadn’t been seeking them out, he wouldn’t notice.

He nodded. “I suppose. Are you sure there isn’t anything you want to tell me about this orb? Because I’m sure we can get you another.”

“Not everything is replaceable. These orbs are not. This?” Odin lifted their hands, and when the sunlight struck his ring, it sent fractals of gold across the grass. “Nothing shall ever break or replace.”

“You’re in a sentimental mood. Should I be worried? Usually, you only say this stuff when you’re about to be stupid.” Niles slowed down right at the entrance of the forest… Right as his ears began to ring from the proximity. He’s right there. He could have the choice of going  _ home  _ again.

But, studying Niles’ face, all thoughts of Ylisse started to ebb away. It was almost… It felt as if he didn’t belong there anymore. He was third in line for a throne he had no desire to get. His parents gave birth to a younger, to a  _ better  _ version of himself. His friends all sought for a place to stay without being their parents’ children… And how could they be anyone but themselves?

He belonged  _ here.  _ With  _ Niles.  _ Getting the orb…

Odin leant in, kissing Niles passionately. “That orb is my way home.”

“Are you leav-”

Odin kissed Niles again, dismissing whatever notion he was about to say. “But it’s a backup plan, in case the world starts to turn to ash around us. Right now, this is my home.”

-

One second, he stumbled into the bathroom in the middle of the night. The next, his leg gave out before he could even reach the sink. He slammed against the tile, the coolness invading his skin. When Odin tried to get up, he fell down once more. Again and again, he couldn’t get to his feet until he finally laid in the bathroom with sobs shaking his shoulders.

In his loose bedclothes, he could see the spots finally disappeared from his skin. The residue from the blood magic, the  _ curse  _ should be gone. Does that mean it’s on him? He’s weak, he’s fragile, and he can’t fight. If you can’t fight in a war, then you don’t deserve to be there. You’re  _ worthless. _

Dear Naga, would he ever go back to being  _ useful?  _ Sure, it hadn’t been a week, but where was the improvement? He gave up his cane to get back his orb. But he still… Shit, why didn’t anyone tell him how blood magic worked? Why didn’t Henry or Tharja mention how  _ drained  _ someone felt after getting all of their blood poisoned and then painstakingly cured?

Deep down, Odin found the answer. They didn’t want to seem like  _ bad guys,  _ even at a war. Henry wanted to be the weird uncle who spoke about crows and dismemberment… Not someone who  _ did  _ dismember someone and leave them weakened for life. Anyone who did that  _ had  _ to be a bad guy.

He tightened his hands into fists. They never found who did it to him. And Naga knew Henry and Tharja got punished for using blood magic… He was there when they burned the bodies.

Get up, he thought. It was one thing to be unable to fight. It was another to wait for death to come. For a second, the bathroom walls flickered into the forests around Ylisse. For a second, he could smell the smoke of a fire they roasted bear over. For a second, he could hear the desperate shouts of Lucina as she attempted to gather all of the children together. The Risen were coming. The Risen-

“Odin?” 

Odin stiffened, kicking out at the bathroom door. It slid shut the rest of the way, and he half-crawled, half-dragged himself to sit in front of the door. He leant against it and waited for Leo to elaborate. His boyfriend didn’t come in the middle of the night without warning. Not after the fight they raged.

When he didn’t respond, someone else started speaking. Odin’s stomach churned.  _ Niles.  _ “Maybe he’s asleep. He had an  _ exhausting  _ day with me, after all.”

“Maybe.” Leo sounded unconvinced regardless. Odin held his breath, praying they’d give up… They’d go away. Instead, Leo made an indecisive sound and his voice dropped to a murmur behind the doors. Then, he swung open the door to his  _ main  _ chambers. 

There was a pause. Then, Niles laughed. “He’s pissing. Of course he is. Odin?”

“I require but a moment,” he called through the door. Then, Odin glanced down at his legs. He sent a quiet prayer to Naga, though he doubted it could be received at this distance from Ylisse. Beyond that, nobody in his family was religious… Minus, of course, Lucina. His mother powered through on pure optimism, and his father lived life as it was… Moment by moment. 

Odin was  _ tired  _ though. He didn’t even want to make the effort to stand up. He took a deep breath to gather himself before trying to push to his feet. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work this time. A wave of dizziness struck at him, and he sighed and leant back against the door. “I’m afraid I cannot appreciate your company to the fullest! When my blood wakes up within my veins, I shall come to see you. Until then, the beast of passion within me has fallen asleep, and I’m prone to follow it.”

“So you’re… Sleeping in the bathroom?” Leo huffed, and immediately, the doorknob turned above his head. His weight managed to rebuff the effort though. “The hell?”

“Are you hiding in there?” Niles asked, teasing mixed with a concern he didn’t want to show too readily. 

Odin scooted carefully, sliding across the ground. The second he cleared the door, he cleared his throat. “If you desire to see me-”

The door swung open, and both of them searched above his head for a few seconds. Then, Niles’ eye dropped to his level, and Leo crouched down in front of him. Niles followed until they all sat on the floor, looking too tired for how young they all were.

“You were crying,” noted Niles. He reached out, wiping away the tears still stinging on his cheeks.

He offered a big, toothy smile. “Was I? I hardly even noticed! I-”

“Sorry,” blurted Leo. 

Odin stammered over the end of his sentences. “I… What?”

“No matter who you were, no matter what your past is, I trust you. You don’t have to tell us, and you don’t have to do anything. It was wrong of me to pressure you. I shouldn’t have… And when you wished to return home as-”

“Owain.” His name hung off his tongue, and he let it slip into the open air. “Just as Selena went by Severa in her youth, I went by Owain. It was the name gifted to me by the legends and the heroes. I chose Odin with good reason, but I won’t dishonor them by pretending they never chose that name for me, and I won’t dishonor you by refusing to share it.”

“As  _ Owain.”  _ Leo paused as he rolled the name over his tongue.

Niles smirked. “So, I’ve been screaming out the wrong name all this time?”

“Odin and Owain are one and the same.” He offered a flamboyant wink. “It matters not what name you called me by. I understood it nonetheless.”

“When you wanted to return home as Owain… I should have known. You were a child in a man’s body. Of course you didn’t want strangers. I only hope you still will take me. I will do whatever I must to make it up to you-”

“It’s done,” Odin interrupted. He reached out and took one of both of his boyfriends’ hands. As their fingers tangled, he smiled. “A lot of things happened in the past. Having a good future felt impossible… But you made me understand it’s not. You are my future… And I didn’t know it back then. I do now.”

He took in both of their faces. No matter what life, no matter what memories he had, he thought he’d always return to him. What they had meant too much for anyone to dismiss. Their connection beat strongly and still resonated. 

As nobody, they were the hope of belonging.

As Owain, they were the hope of a better future.

And as Odin, they  _ were  _ hope. They  _ were  _ everything he ever needed. 

“I want to be with you. Whatever it takes.”

“And I with you,” Niles said quickly.

Leo nodded. “And I with you.”

And together, with them within reach, he no longer felt weak. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaahhhh it's done! And yes, odin isn't magically healed by love, but in the moment, he's willing to work through it. and I super loved this story, so if anyone is interested in deleted scenes (selena finds her two friends injured after the original battle, leo and niles wait to see if odin is going to wake up, etc) I would totally love writing it up!


End file.
